WolverinA

2011-03-25T02:35:00.000-07:00

Bertahan satu cinta

2011-03-18T02:38:00.000-07:00

I'm bored...and fat.seems that losing 5kg isnt enough to look slimmer.Nabei teng teng.Gua bingit.looking forward for another 10kg.
YEAH!!!!meeting love tomorrow.and running with him on sunday.he's having his IPPT on monday.
Baby!!!you can do it!!!!!!
for me i'm running to shake off the fats.still along way to go.
Starting school soon.Tak saba tapi rasenye mcm malas gitu.hahah.
K nak tido.Perangai budak geeeemooookkk!!!!!baby working...pfft!

2011-03-16T21:03:00.000-07:00

I just dont feel like living if i have to always feel this way everyday.If only you can get to live differently everyday.You know this sad feeling everytime when u look at yourself in the mirror how fucked up your life is and you dont go with whatever is around you.You wish that things wont change when you grow.Where i wish that i would still sleep with my mum and cry to her and she's there to comfort you.Is there a phobia of growing up.I have that.looking at myself everyday at the mirror spotting every details of ageing.i'm not obsessed with my looks its just that you still want the soft skin and no eyebags face.thank god,plastic surgery is very expensive,I think by now my face would be the villian from i am number four.Nothing is perfect i guess.i do want people around me to be happy.Like the love ones.When u tried not to hurt them,at last u got hurt yourself..just got to sucked it up and do what u do.i just wish that past dont exist.you can erase it permanently.its either yours or someone elses.but like some people say u just got to live with it.Dont you think its hard falling hard in love for someone.when its kinda sad when you said i love you more to that person which is really true,you meant it.and also the love of your life,your parents.you wish that you wouldve listen to them and dont dissapoint them.studied better,didnt do stupid stuff.and seeing them going through any measure to make u realise and also avoiding those things.every fucking day i thought about all this things.whats happening?wish i could do my part but was not capable of.Like didi said FML..Why are they showing how Japan is destroyed by the tsunami.It's really sad.Praying for Japan.

I know he's not reading my blog anymore but i just wanna say that i'm happy that we've reach the 8 month together and looking forward for the future with him.Wholeheartedly,I love you,Sadiq.

2010-12-06T05:58:00.000-08:00

Model ikan dugong.hahaha..feeling2 model sesaat.Ni la kalau orang da lost kat rumah,tak tau aper nak buat.taking a break off the notes for a while.Sexylove sleeping after a tiring day at work.was damn fucking happy to hear his voice when he got home and accompany me on the telephone going to the shop.only god knows how much i miss him and also my gfs.oh where oh where could they be.Hey its december,aper lagi.shopping la..year end sale.wait!is it really december?How time pass by so fast.meeting new people,going through obstacle of life.well i know this year is a bitter sweet year for me.But the best things happened to me was meeting sexylove and also i've grown closer with dearest mummy and BFF.Ups and down of life,u cant runaway from that.How people pissed you off,how people make u feel head over heels.I hope next year will be a good year to me.A year that i want to accomplish my goals that i didnt reach for this year.Insyallah.Tomorrow is my exam and BTT.please lah...i want to pass my btt.i wanna drive.I just hate exams...$%@#&$@!!!!!Well gonna continue revising,all the best to me.

2010-12-02T03:32:00.000-08:00

When i heard that everything have an ending,thousands of thought came in mind.
Things gonna change.And i'm afraid of changes.even the littlest change can just punch you in the face,and sometimes you dont know how to react.I'm a negative thinker,cause i would want to be ready for the worst.I only think positive when i know i would really be possible to look forward to.Looking at my surroundings knowing that i've been around here for 19 years kinda make me worry what if i dont get to see whatever it is or even worse the person whom i'm soo closed to.Lost, nobody like that.Love,everybody wanna be loved.Pain,everybody go through them.Strength,You got to have that.Every single day is a challenge,who you gotta face and what problem is in store for you.I'm afraid to grow old and knowing that i'll lost the loved ones,mistakes i've done,regretting.wishing that you can be reborn again and live a perfect life.I have no choice but to live this life the way i can and make a better of it.Appreciating what is around me.There's always someone more unfortunate than me.This is what i always thought of everyday,God is Great.How grass grows,a life of an ant,the feelings we have,the luck,people whom we meet,Our lives.

2010-12-02T02:41:00.000-08:00

I am effing fat la oi.tak habes2 eh an.Presentation saye da habes.Alhamdullilah.lest some finishing touches and i can let go.But not gonna lie.Gonna miss ITE life.Gonna spent time with girl as much as possible.I am still not sure what imma do after this.i think imma be bored to death.Gonna make some plans or find a job soon.Mati siao.Got to meet Bf yesterday.I was the happiest girl.Very susah you know nak jumpe ni pakcik.So busy.Spent our time watching movies at home.Didnt do much but it was all worth it.Got to see the face i have been missing so badly.siape tak happy,ckp.Oh ya,Batam...a very big dissapointment.2 years ago,can so called a shopping paradise la.but now its a big no no.I think i went to the wrong place.i really wanna travel soon.imma take the aeroplane and see other countries.hmm..when will that be aye..i wanna take studo photoshoots soon too.i miss dancing *"ABG!!!!XBOX KINECT BAWAK MARI!!!!"*.theres alot of things i wanna do.But just dont know where to start.Ohya maybe i can start by lossing some pounds.No determination at all.Some dresses that i really want to be able to fit in.the stomach seriously.Didi says "cute".banyak nyer cute mcm teletubies.i really hope the holidays coming soon i'd be able to do that.Missing the GFs.Catch up soon please...

2010-11-24T02:31:00.002-08:00

Hey yaa..I know its too late to be posting this now.But yeah.i barely use the computer know cause i have this...

Hehek..Jealous tak?My favourite boy bought for me on my birthday.I was such an ass la actually.The thing is that he brought with me to buy that.Kinda shock,i poke poke him.whispering "are you crazy" and some other things.In front of the cashier and promoter.Its was like what?3 mins.we came in the shop.he ask the promoter and tadaaaaa...he got that thing.Tkde hak tkde huk.Thank you again for the awesome birthday present,boyfriend.I love you sooooo much..

Then kan...

On my actual date of my birthday.Mummy bought for me this....

Jealous tak?Blackberry.Mum call it Blueberry.Always wanted a keypad phone.sooo i got it.
Mum insisted i get it.she kept on asking.So yeah.Thank you mummy...

Got to say i got the best birthday presents ever.wishes from the loved ones.But no cake:(
But i got to have a birthday meal with BFF and also a movie.Megamind.and also i got chocolates.Sedaap..Went to Fish and Co. after movie.Was her treat.Thanks BFF.Love ya...

After so called dinner,we went to do a lil bit of shopping.Was kinda out of my mind to get this la.But omg! its beyonce heat.How i can i not buy that.Imma fan of BEYONCE.

Someone hasnt realised it yet.hmph!but nevermind.so yeah..

And here is my only babyboy.Cute kaaaaaann?!!!bole jadi giler uh tengok ni...
It felt like months since i met him.Rindu bangeeeetttt!!dont care gonna meet him soon.
Gonna show him who is the orang dayak..Haha,
I really miss this boy right here.
Mixture of sweet and sour.
Just cant get enough of him.
Its already past the 4th month and yeahhh...huuray to us...
I love you,Baby.

2010-11-15T22:51:00.000-08:00

Well this is life...They have their ups and down.But whatever it is life move on for better or for worst.Well for me,i am very happy for what i have now including two precious electronics from the most loved ones.It doesnt look good the last few days.3 worst days,starting from 8 nov.But after that i was relieved and happy.I guess ego is one of the bad influence.Sometimes u just have to put it a side.This is the thing of having a relationship.expectations,hope,insecurities.u dont get what u expect,u'll get upset.You have hope and it doesnt happen,you're dissapointed.and the insecurities is the suckiest of all.Just one word,Paranoid.But at the end of the day,Its you.you got to face yourself whatever shit happens.not only for relationships,life.Things just dont always go your way.Patience.But whatever it is.It's your life,How you want it to go,things to happen.Just dont do something that you'll keep doing and regret for life.Oh wells,Its me at the end of the day.How i see things and face things.I'm missing my old routine of gym workouts.cause i'm really getting chubbier.oh wait,its FAT.Gonna loose some pounds for graduation ceremony.and also help out on my self-esteem.my bf and bff are the victims of my complaining and they'll get irritated.sometimes i just wanna be the pretty and not so thin or fat girls that i walked past by .In the way of dressing and appearances.But well i am what i am.I wont be nurfarhan if i'm like them.right?Goal:Dont want to get in to trouble,and loose some pounds.k go.And yeah,I love you, Sadiq.I wont give up on something that i cant go a day without thinking about.

2010-11-10T23:22:00.000-08:00

When you think about it,Its kinda scary how everything ended.To sudden.Cause the day before it was totally the opposite.Exchanging lovely words,listening to each other voices.Even how hurt we are,we know we still have eachother.A drastic change .Its all love and then gone...I guess that isnt love.infatuation...how easily you can let go without fighting.We know ourselves.What we want.You tried too hard to fight that feeling of yours.If its love,nothing can stop you.and yeah you are right.Its really hard to digest the fact this happen.I cant even swallow it yet.If you are one drawing then i am hoping.Which is worst?

2010-11-09T03:54:00.000-08:00

I just wished you'll call me right now,and tell me that you love me.I guess that doesnt exist anymore.I kept a folder of all your pictures you sent me and all those msn voice messages.Listening to it non stop.looking non stop.i keep remembering the first time we met or even talked on the phone.remembering moments.holding hands in you car.the feeling whereby i'm really excited to see your car come to the carpark fetching me.The first look after weeks or days not meeting you.Even a touch from you.Is enough.Even u calling baby is enough.Guess what?Cause i am madly in love with you.But what i cant accept is even the littelest things that happen like me making mistakes unpurposely.You really brought me down to the ground.Having to pick myself up and act as if nothing happened.Remind myself,Whats important is you.I cant upsent you.I have to change things around.thats how much i'll go the distance for you.I dont mind changing.i cant stop,sadiq.i cant stop talking about my love for you.cause what i deserve is for you to talk to me and tell me how much you wants us to be together.not saying that i cant accept or you cant change anything.Cause what i'm thinking right now is you still wanna live your life,you want no troubles,i am not the girl you wanted,u have made a mistake being with me.then why be with me in the first place if you u cant bear my faults.nobody is perfect.not even the girls you gonna date after me.they might be smarter or prettier.But i'm sure they wont be as sincere and faithful as i am.they wont love you like how i loved you.Somehow i keep checking my hp,expecting and hoping for your call.when i got that msg.i was afraid.a msg from babylove.my heart starts beating fast.hoping things would turn around.But well..

Sadiq i want you to know one thing about me.When i love that someone i wont give up easily.i still be waiting.If theres no hope in us.i hope you would kindly inform me.

Do you still love me?i wonder...

2010-11-08T10:07:00.000-08:00

If I beg and if I cry would it change the sky tonight?
Will it give me sunlight?
Should I wait for you to call? Is there any hope at all?
Are you drifting by?

When I think about it I know that I was never held or even cared
The more I think about it the less that I was able to share with you
I try to reach for you, I can almost feel you
You're nearly here and then

You disappear
(Disappear, disappear, disappear)
You disappear
(Disappear, disappear, disappear)

And then I lie all by myself, I see your face, I hear your voice
My heart stays faithful
And time has come and time has passed, if it's good, it's got to last
It feels so right

When I think about it I know that I was never held or even cared
The more I think about it the less that I was able to share with you
I try to reach for you, I can almost feel you
You're nearly here and then

You disappear
(Disappear, disappear, disappear)
You disappear
(Disappear, disappear, disappear)
You, you disappear
(Disappear, disappear, disappear)
You disappear

I missed all the signs one at a time
You were ready
What did I know starting our lives
No, my love I'm ready to shine

When I think about it I know that I was never held or even cared
The more I think about it the less that I was able to share with you
I try to reach for you, I can almost feel you
You're nearly here and then

You disappear, you disappear
You disappear, you disappear, disappear.

Didnt know it would be this hard...

2010-11-08T09:57:00.000-08:00

Just listening to ur voices...
Anne.
Broken hearted..

2010-11-08T09:45:00.000-08:00

Thanks for everything

I wish you love...

2010-11-07T22:19:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!...

Believe it or not they are all cakes....
I'm sure i cant find a cake perfect like this in Singapore.
Oh man,Its not cheap..duhhhh...adumaaakk...
Since i am the birthday girl today.
I can get what i want,right...?
I want Bf right now,right here.
Missing him like crazy.
i'm still thinking what am i gonna do next year.
Dilemma.
Dont want to waste anymore time.
No hegeh2!
My hp so seeenyaaaap...
Babyy!!!!hmph!as if he can read it now.
Proper update soon.
:)

2010-11-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i just dont understand.
Someway it makes me feel useless.
Somehow i felt i tried my best.
In what way am i to?
what can i do?
Did i?
How come?
Should i?
Why?
How am i to?
Sometimes its hard to understand a person,wishing you could read their mind of what's going on.
Willing to know and help.
I want to,
But me?
Somehow,if only you know how it hurts...

2010-10-31T23:37:00.000-07:00

2010-10-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

I really cant explain what i'm feeling,
Insecurities...i guess.
This feeling came to me after so long.
Maybe its that feeling of not wanting to lose you,even thinking about it can really make me paranoid.really.
Sometimes i just thought or feel i'm nothing.
its not how u make it.Its how i see things are.
Even the smallest thing can really get into me.
Thats how sensitive and paranoid i am.
I guess its time i realise and change back to whom am i to you when you first knew me.when times u ignored me and i just thought mayb its not important or ust assume u didnt care,when u say somethings and i take it as you're joking.I just don't want to seem heartless.
I got feelings too.
Sometimes i'm just being pathetic and unreasonable cause i cant get what i want.
thats how some people react.
After a while sweet love is just not enough
So many settle for less just because
maybe i'm more in love with what it was.
Theres a lot of differences before and after
but one thing have not changed yet and never will
my love for you.
I may not be perfect,
I may not be the one u expected me to be,
I may not be the one u want me to be,
i make mistakes,
I just wish i could do more.
cause i'm still not satisfied with myself.
i really dont like what i'm feeling right now.

2010-10-22T00:57:00.000-07:00

Killing me softly..

2010-10-19T01:33:00.000-07:00

I fucking love this cake!!!!Can i have it for my birthday pleassshhh!!!!

Or maybe this one?hekhek....Mintak kene maki ngan abang atau bf aku jer la...haha
Omg i'm going crazy over this.Effing nice...
I'll be the happiest girl in the world if i got the first one.
Nabei..K now i'm hungry.
Baby having inservice now.nobody to talk or message with.
so just fill up my time with looking at cakes that u dont really bare to eat.
Didi ordered the monster cupcakes.ppffftt.nak jugaaaakkk?
going off in 30 mins.project sucks.didnt do much now.bella is doing all the alterations and amendments,and me i am doing nothing.kite nak buat model cepat2.sooo at least i have something to at home.people say i gemok.no i am not ok.i am happy.HAPPY.i love my mummy and daddy and bf very much.and i miss my bf aloootttt.meeting him on saturday.tak sabar oi.
sayaaaanng where are you?!!

2010-10-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

I just love it this way.sometime it works after talking it out.be it family or Love.I almost gave up.i learn something not to gave up easily u may never know u can regain after solving things out.everything have a solution.u just need time to yourself.think and recall what really happen.find the right answer before jumping to conclusions.life is unfair.its how u think it is.testing you how patient or understanding towards situation.sometimes its luck sometimes.when u didnt do something u got blame for it.but u cant blame the person from blaming you.remember what they've gone through.make them understand.prove them wrong.sometimes they are not happy enough with the way u prove them.then dont give up if they meant alot to you.

You meant alot to me Dear...
I love you

I wish that yesterday can last forever,felt that i'm in love again,some disturbance in the way but he still keep reminding me that he loves me.i feel bad and wonder how would he be feeling.how would you feel if your partner ex's contact them back.i know i'll feel paranoid.Theres alot of challenges.Be it you're young or old.

K done feeling eh.. I cant wait to graduate.architecture is soo not my thing la.gonna try tourism or physical training.Ni sume naseb la eh.aku nak duet.wanna buy t-shirts from reverie,supplements,jeans and etc.Waliauweh!!!!selagi tak dapat,saya tak puas.

LAWA KAAAAANNN???!!!!$%#@*&$#%##!!!!!!!!!!!Cant get my eyes off you...
Gonna starve myslef...k fake...k aku haus.PMS rabak.feel i could kill someone.adumak!!
Aku emo.cikgu kepala pundek uhhhh..i wanna talk to BF.hmmm...wonder what he's doing now.nak g gym nanti bole tak?wanna let some steam off.but bbut..eerrggghh..leceh uh jadi pompuan...k da..

2010-10-09T23:21:00.000-07:00

The problems now lies in me.I am back to that person again.
good thing is that i realise why in the hell i did that.
somehow people dont seem to care how i feel.then why should i right.thats how people wanna play it.fine.maybe its PMS la.thats y i soo emo.sorry.i wont say anything next time.i will just follow the flow like some people say.going to abg's zul engagement in a while.so fast engage.what are you rushing for.heard that they known eachother for 5 months.isnt that fast.but well kalau da sayang,aper nak buat kan.congrats to him and also my dear mak eton.dont know what to wear ni.besok da skola.uurrgghh!!!fuck.cepat2 la 3 bulan lepas.and i am free.
cant wait for outing with BFF on wed.eat pray love la sey.duet lagi dong.liao.wanted to go to the beach knowing i might end up like a nigga.maybe next time la eh.rihanna new song only girl is superb.sexay!gonna get ready now;D

2010-10-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

Its another wasted week people.project model not done,didnt get to meet boify,gained weight.well cant turn back time.i'm just wasting my time at home eating and watching tv even if the episodes are repeated.no life sia.i say alot of time that I am fat but still lazy to get my ass up and work out and also look out on what i eat.now i am 64kg.surprisingly gaines 3kg since last week.in just a snap.saaaaaaapp...naek balek.i am suppose to be 55 kg.which i wanna reach for in 2 months.ahhhh.like real.fuck it la.if its possible then its possible.well now i am a lil worried about school.projects not done.bella is my partner.soo the project is based on whatever shit we did as individual.we gonna have the same marks.well obviously she done most of the work.i cant deny that.but still i wanna do my part but somehow i dont have a chance too.well i wont be going to poly thats for sure.but i really want bella to go.can see that she really can make.I'm just planning to work under the government.not easy but gonna try.cause i'm not someone whose gonna sit infront of the desk doing the autocad.sorry daddy.while i'm still young,I'm gonna keep my options open for jobs and wat i'm gonna do for my future.cause now its all about money.well the past thought me a lesson to be much more wiser in life.and here i am happy with no regrets.theres one thing that i am happy about.I dont have to hide anything from anyone anymore except from my dad.just because he thinks i am too young for love.am i?but i really hope everything goes smoothly from here cause i swear i dont want to start all over again and another reason cause i've found someone that i really wanna be with and the good thing is i dont have to hide anything from mummy anymore.k i'm missing my sexyboy.handphone is starting to get on my nerves again.perangai.i wanna meet babyboy soon pretty please.

The day of my engagement...FAKE!!!!
haha...overdressed right?but well still won the best dressed.
elken hari raya celebration.
and never been that embarrased on stage my whole fucking life.
k done.
I love you...

2010-10-04T05:09:00.000-07:00

I've changed
Change whereby my old friends and mom didnt even recognise.
not the image but the character and attitude.
I am not like this before i met you.
a total different person.
You change me in ways.
I've change
To make you love me more.
But i wonder is it working.
Why is it trust is always the problem.
Been trying to prove you wrong.
But there you are accusing me of such stuff.
Its hurts.Its hurts me that here i'm telling you the truth
but not even once you want to put it on rest.
I know i'm not the girl you ever wanted
not the girl that you had
but i'm the girl whose willing to change
to be there
to listen
to care
to love.
Things are changing.
I know it wouldnt be the same as we first start it out.
but i just hope the love doesnt change.
What i need is trust.
Cause thats the only thing.
I love you...

2010-10-04T04:28:00.000-07:00

At last got the internet access.as pernormal i miss my BF soo soo much.he's working and i'm at home besar kan perot.gonna change that tomorrow.back to running.the good food days are over.i guess.left one week more to school reopen and i havent do a shit yet about the project.Bella!!!where are you?!!!....hope its done by next week.somehow i miss the atmosphere at the gym.heading to the gym soon.very soon.gonna fill my time up with things that they call berfaedah.cause i really wasted one week already.but not really.i got to meet my love and gave him a belated birthday present.Glad that he liked it.swear to god i was nervous.u think my friends got irritated when i keep asking them 'is he gonna like it'.well yeahh.wanna know something,i'm kinda sad that love doesnt call me as much as he do last time.at the same i understand that he's busy with his job.pfft.well whatever it is i still love him and loving him more.pls i wanna meet him soon.hope nothing will get in our way.had a lil catch up with the bff earlier.and omg i miss her.had brunch and did a lil walking around.got myself a skipping rope.saw this slippers which was on sale but too bad cant buy it cause i'm kinda saving money for batam trip in December and some other stuff.i wish i am working right now.earning my own cash.then i cant spent it on whatever i want and need.soon la eh.i am dead bored at home.A run to punggol park is alright but well aku malas.I thought i just missed tayong dalawa.just remembered its monday.well yeah.hope this week is not another wasted week.adios...

Glad that you like it...

2010-09-14T19:37:00.001-07:00

Happy 2nd Monthsary,Babyboy.
Sadiq Dear, I love you every beat of my heart and let's stay strong together and overcome all the obstacles coming towards us. Insyaallah!
I wanna say this again even though you hear this every single day. I love you! So freaking much.
Looking forward to the many months and years up ahead with you.
Missing you soo much.

2010-09-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

Do I remind you of the pain
That she put you through, boy
Is that the reason I'm to blame
Before I do it…
Is it because she, treated you badly
I always stand accused
Protecting yourself, from somebody else
I'm not who's hurting you boy

And it's killing me boy knowing you compare me to her
Always guilty before the sin
I can't win, I can't win no
I'll do anything to prove I love you
Baby girl but I refuse to
Pay for something I didn't do
I love you, boy

She left a scar across your heart
I understand, boy
Don't let her wrongs tear us apart
Cause boy I'm your lady

Just because she did
You swear I'm cheating
You think I just don't care
Why must I do time
For another lady's crime
Boy you know that aint fair

I know she did you wrong
But tell me what does that have to do with me
Trying to show you something real
Figure out what is going on
Before you look up and I'll be gone....
I'll do anything to prove I love you
Baby boy but I refuse
To pay for something I didn't do, boy
I love you, and I love you I love you

2010-09-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be hari raya.But it doesnt feel like it.I didnt buy any baju raya,any shoes and didnt do any shopping for myself for raya.Sad right?no need to pity.I just think thats its not necessary for me.funny eh.pompuan tak kesah sal ni sume.but well,just saving up money nak buat kahwin.eh tak eh.keje belom nak ckp banyak lak.Actually i'm waiting for jersey shore to start.Thats why i'm blogging.Da mendak sangat.Bf is off to geylang with his family.Last day raya oi.Main giler siak.And its like 12 already.Seriously tak ader feeling teros uh.I wonder why.I really find it dreadful to dress up in the malay costume pakai make up and high heels going to relatives houses.The heat la i think.I just hope tomorrow goes well.As in the food mummy is going to prepare tomorrow.Just hope not to have comments from my makcik.nanti ader jer kening tipis sangat la,rambut knape dye la,muke tkde seri la.panas jer dengar.eh why i sound so negative eh.Setan aper ntah da masok.Well since fasting month is over.Time to hit the track and gym back.i still wont give up to get my ideal body.i wanna wear that effing dress.aarrgghh,kaki cram...!%$#&*&#$*&%@!Eh i miss him eh.wonder when's the next time we're gonna have a proper date.I'm happy with the short meet ups but i want more baby.Watching jersey shore right now.happy siol.I know its stupid show.but well they are just interesting jokes.I want a new different pet,mayb a guinea pig or a snake.but i doubt my mum would let me.k k.enough i wanna watch Jersey Shore.wuhuhuhu..:D..I'M IN LOVE!..

2010-09-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

I cant wait to meet you and have you in my arms again.Somehow i am really having butterflies in my stomach.Like yesterday,felt like my heart can just pop out from my mouth anytime.My heart melts.I guess other girls feel the same too when they see you in that.No wonder they flirt.But well i'll always be your number one fan.I love you...

K ni part nak lepas kan geram sikit.I wanna talk about the lecturer bernama Mr goh.1st ader phase test,die bilang last minute.tu tkper.postpone actual test to wednesday patot nyer on monday.die ingat funfair.k tu tkper.smlm die ckp theory lesson cancel.which was 8 to 12,skali denga class 8 to 12.eh hello,attendance aku jugak kene.can he just effing tell is the actual timing and tell us in advance.puasa batal siak.cikgu paling rabak uh.suro org buat sesuatu tak kasi dateline ke aper tros mintak kene pass up.ni mintak kene penampar.if he does this another effing time.nak kene tego jugak uh ni goldfish.he thinks he's funny and cute.bole sembarang kelip2 mate kat org.k tkde link.But seriously dont because of him,attendance flop siak.2 days already tau.k da.talking to bf now...hhekhek..

2010-09-04T21:27:00.001-07:00

2010-09-04T15:13:00.000-07:00

I wonder why is it so hard.Somehow my heart hurts,I dont why but it aches alot nowadays.Its not that we are figthing.maybe its just that i missed you too much.I just felt like crying just thinking bout how long more till i can meet you.My head hurts.Enduring this.I'm running out of things to get you off my mind.Is there a reason why you are doing this?You really got me thinking,Mr.This feeling its not cool.the feeling is like almost breaking up with someone.Just so you know,i'll still be waiting for that day,when you're really ready to meet me:(

2010-09-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

I still remember the first date.Pizza hut.When you look at me without stoping for moments,Talking to me,Listening to your super nice voice.Trying not to make a fool of myself.nervous and tensed whenever I'm with you.I still have the same feeling whenever i'm with you.Its like having to meet you for the very first time every time.Then i'll be falling for you again and again and again.I have to admit the ride to our destination for our first date was like no other for me.Even i'm right beside you i still cant forget that smile in my head.Got home and u filled my head,recalling your voice,the touch of your skin against mine.You just make me go crazy i guess.Its been weeks that i last met you.Only god knows how much i missed you.How much i love you more over these few weeks.How much i yearned for you.I love you.Its just killing me to know i have a few days more to go till i can meet you.This sucks...:(

2010-08-31T02:54:00.000-07:00

At Sibu Island,Malayasia.Effing tanned.

Somehow its not so cool being the youngest in the family and also the only girl.Not treated like one except for the controlling of freedom part.I dont really mind helping but sometimes its over the limit.Da naek sedap orang katekan.When my bro and my mum went out to do a lot of shopping without me.there will always be a phone call,asking me to go down and help to carry some stuff up.But when its comes to me and mum only to do alot of shopping.No phone calls are being made to my bro.I did ask mum,why dont she call him to come down and help.what i got was silence.pathetic siak!i wont complain if its a lil heavy.this is like i got to walk back and forth to the lift carrying things like rice,oil,tins of milk and a whole lot more.he is simply treated too well.when it comes to me he can really talk.Only god knows how i feel.Mum really got on my nerves just now.i dont really remeber what but ya.Tetapi di bulan ramadhan ini harus banyak bersabar.I really am patient.Didnt get to meet BF is one thing.And satu2 perangai.project,we are suppose to finish the drawings by now.but we got nothing.thanks to that someone.Aku da puasa.satu2 buat dara up jer.effing simple thing also want me to do uh.wah sey.i guess i just got to continue being patient lor.I wont say much for now.cannot say also.

Got something to look forward there everyday?Guess i'm not the only one.I'm being very reasonable as i can be.Just hope u know your limits:)

2010-08-25T23:20:00.000-07:00

I'm bored.Bf is still sleeping.Wouldnt want to disturb him as he had a long day yesterday.Gonna make kuih tart later.EeRRRGGGHH!Do u know how tiring is to make kuih raya.Got to mix the ingredients,shape it,bake it and arrange them in a bottle.What more pineapple tarts.K siao okay.Sprained my ankle yesterday when working out with marsh.Now i walk like a retard.Yesterday when i was working out with marsh at the fitness corner,there was a monkey bar.Tried it,I cant even finish half.That shows that i'm heavy and fat.I remember when i was in primary school,i can just go back and fro again and again on that stupid bar until i got blisters.Now dont even bother.I can feel my arms going to dislocate.K fake.I just cant wait after 4th september.Thats the day i'll be waiting for.Excited even its another 1 week or more to go.Only god knows how i feel.I Love You..

2010-08-22T14:16:00.000-07:00

I repeat,I miss my BF like hell.can?Somehow i can go bonkers anytime just by missing him.This is the very first relationship that i have to endure,i mean really endure of not meeting love for quite sometime.I miss the way he smile,the way he make me laugh,the way he hold my hand and the hugs and kisses.Its like a drug.You're addicted to it but u cant have it.Once u get it u keep wanting it more.I dont mind overdosing.He just make me go crazy in love.*K feeling2 Beyonce uh tu,crazy in love*.

I miss tat BFF of mine eventhough we meet up often.Can see that there alot of changes in her,physically and mentally. Stronger than what she use to be.More sense of humour.Not as shy as she was the last time.Its just her honesty and humbleness.Thats what i like bout her. Gonna spent more time with her this week.Since its the last week of my holiday.1 week wasted and i'm soo not gonna waste the next one.Make full use of it but wasted cause its the fasting month.And oh please,I wanna meet Love really soon. I cant sleep yet...Its 5.44am.Gonna let the good digest properly.Dont wanna have double chins.And also waiting for love's call,He's still busy with work.

"It's not who we have dated or are dating, it's who was the one that changed your life"
And u change mine...

2010-08-22T03:45:00.000-07:00

I'm just missing you soo badly.
Loving you more everyday.
Just feel like dying just having the thought I wont meet you soon.
I'm sorry that i dissapointed you.But its the past.I've thrown out the list.
Theres no more list.But Only You
I'm just upset that the impression i've given u at first was all gone.
I'm just like any other girl u've met.I guess.
I cried mysef to sleep thinking what have i done,what was i,will this effect further.what if u leave me.You've never hurt me,But I've hurt you with my past.Hurt you with words.Again i'm sorry.Forgive me.

2010-08-19T22:16:00.000-07:00

I'm not that girl that you think I am.I am starting all over again.You should know that whatever i do or say,i'll always love you.I believe that you're still the one for me.You're the greatest find. The thing is I said it cause i mean it,I only mean it cause its true.I am not the girl that u expect me to be or the girl you have been with.I'm still learning to impress cause in my previous relationship,neither do they impress me nor do i have to impress them.Somehow their opinions dont matter to me.But what matters most to me is you.Be patient with me.

2010-08-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

Thanks eh boy...Angkat telipon jer.kene eh badak.ahahha...Tapi memang betol la...I woke up at 1.30.tsk.How am i to effing lose 2 kg to 3 kg during fasting month...Puase and tak puase pon same.effed up...This time got to run every effing day lor...makan jage oi...mummy prepared very2 heavy foods.how am i to effing run away from that.I am effing FAT!!i am just not satisfied with whatever i wear except for my school uniform.Azizi a schoolmate of mine which have graduated lost effing alot of weight in 2 months ok..KNN,jealous siak!!!But no wonder la.he went for ns.macam gini kan aku pun nak g ns la.Malek the trainer suda lame hilang ke laut,ususally he'll be calling me up asking for my losing weight progress.mcm ya ya oh,I repeat eh mcm ya ya oh ckp that he'll help me .PIDAH!well i guess i'm on my own lor right now.Tips that i got from people are drink alot of plain water,its a must to eat but small poportion,and last warining eh an,no eating at night.Habit la.I just wanna wear clothes without complaining and also without looking like a 4 months pregnant lady...I dont want so slim..I want toned..I miss gym...effing miss gym...The sweet sweat smell and see people sweat...ok gross kan?but yeah..I am soo going to the gym asap...k enough about this...ni sume nak ke tanak jer...K that cute bf of mine called me and said I love you...he's working but yet still find the time to call me and say i love you...tak penah2 oi terjadi...was touched...eh boy u soo sweet like gule2 eh...oh god!i'll be graduating school in 4 and half months...and i still cant decide what am i suppose to do after that...scary oi...Seeing my friends jobless after graduate...

2010-08-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

I’ve never been love-crazy like this before,

and to be honest, I always thought

people who acted like they were

must be exaggerating a bit.

But that was before you came into my life.

You have affected me like no one else ever has.

You’ve made me feel like I’ve never felt before.

I feel like a kid. I think about you all the time.

When I am not with you, I want to be.

When I am with you, I just cant get enough of you.

My whole world has been turned upside down.

Its terrible and its wonderful, and I hope it never ends,

because loving you is the greatest thing thats ever happened to me.

Happy Monthsary,Darling!!!

I Love You....

2010-08-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

I'm Sorry..
I can't sleep..I kept thinking bout what i've did or said was wrong...
Was caught in the moment of anger...
Paranoid...
Forgive Me...
Love me the same....
Don't ever compare me with her...
I'm not as heartless...
My Heart just break when i listen to that tone of voice...
Now it keeps me awake
My fault,I'll make it up to you...
Again I'm sorry...
You know very well that I love you...

2010-08-13T07:59:00.000-07:00

I Love You..

2010-08-12T21:25:00.000-07:00

I don't want to talk much...I'll just shut up...Cause I don't wanna lose you...
I'm in love
but
I'm just terrified...

You're the greatest find

In a world full of wrong...

2010-08-11T00:14:00.000-07:00

Currently in school...Waiting for my turn to print my floor plans...This Mr Goh uh mintak kene penumbuk nabi la...Suroh org print and now he is nagging bout holiday la,project la...Kau nak aper lagi....u repeat it a lot of times...yes we know and understand what to do know....Buat org mara jer bulan puase...After printing am going home and wait for breakfast and my babyboy to call me...He is sleeping soundly at home,taking his rest after a long night at work...Oh god...I miss him...To be exact..We never met for 13 days...Cannot tahan sia...A lot of things have been going through my mind...Being in a relationship...It's like when u're in love and serious bout somebody,everything comes in mind...Are they loving you the same way u do,are they being faithful,are u good enough for them,are u the only one...Are both of u gonna last?Its not doubting...This is the first time i felt this way...Unsecure?Not really...Not confident?i guess soo...I don't voice out that much...I just let it happen...its like what happen,Happens...I cant be blame...Cause it happens quite a number of times... i got no say...Its not that i dont care or i dont love that someone...Its whatever i'm gonna say or do gonna make them leave me...And whatever i've tried my best for gone to waste...U see...Its hard...And for now i got to change things a little....I cant just give up easily now...Cause this boy that i am in love right now...Kinda change me in certain ways...He's not like any guys i date or been in a relationship before...He's someone i can look forward to as a bestfriend and a lover..thats what i've wanted always...there's somethings that i just cant open up...slowly...I've still got a lot of growing up and upgrading to do...So i just really hope that things will go the way i want to...Hope and Faith....:)

2010-08-06T18:32:00.000-07:00

I'm Back..

I'm gonna start with i miss my babyboy effing much..And i'm gemok gemok ohh...Suppose to meet Fizah today for sweat it out session...And till now no reply from her...duh!still sleeping...bedengdengz tol!!!smlm mcm ye ye eh tanyer esok bole bangun ke tak...check2 die yang tak bole bangun....Its raiining heavily and i guess no gym for me today..i've not been training for the past 2 weeks okay...and OH MY GOSH!!!I put alot of weight...mcm ye ye nak loose weight...but u know y...imma huppy girl...And you know y am i happy...cause i'm in love....and you know who am i in love with...I'm in love with Mohammad Sadiq...All my friends can see that...I just love the long hours on the phone...Random topics...But what i love the most is when he said i love you and how he misses me uncountable times...Aku Rindu Dia sangat2,Bodo!!!Just cant wait to meet him...Can cry ok....Soo yeah...
School have been kinda tough...Major projects = autocad autocads and more autocad..Nabei teng teng...Gotta give it all out for the last 5 months...after that i can just forget of being an architect...its just not me...
Fasting month is in a few days time..Get ready je la....No more breaks in school..no walking to the kitchen again and again....just hope i can loose a few pounds before raya....This flu is getting on my nerves...i swear...

I did a lil catch up session with My girls in secondary school...We did gone through alot together...We fought,hated eachother guts...we did stuff that only god knows how stupid we were...we saw eachother in tears and laughter....and so yeah...only 5 of us make it..pasal kite jiwe..not like some who didnt make it...hekhek....

So as u can see...We are just plain crazy...

Kin,An,Lyn,Nurul and Minah

Love them Loads....

I miss Laos,Na ang village
That was how hard working i am at Laos....K macam paham...

2010-07-19T21:01:00.000-07:00

LOVE...

2010-07-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

At last...Blog is done...Sakit siol mate...tengok itu templates...so yeah...Just chilling right now.Just put down the phone with Marsh...planning to have breakfast tomorrow...and i can go for a morning jog skali...waiting for mr sadiq's call...wanna hear his stories at work for today...Just love to listen to him...Oh ya...Sadiq...he's a guy i met at tagged...:)...I know...u must be thinking tagged guys cannot be trusted kan...Well u may never know when u can get lucky...Just hope i am...so it have been almost 2 weeks now that i know him and slowly having feelings for him...yes...most probably falling for him la eh...he's sweet...really...never in my life i would thought that i would've met a guy like him...So what i'm doing right now?Blogging and missing him...hahaha...Teperanjat siak...Dad went in my room..and ask me why am i not asleep yet...mcm nak ckp jer...so yeah..M8 project coming...4 months till submission...Bella will be my partner setia..so hope we can make it la eh...really wanna do well for this term...Hey guys i've thought of doing private o's..should i?I really wanna be a nurse....or somehow having a good stable job...so yeah....hmm....Tomorrow..I'm gonna head to Kelvin's sister wedding...hope can see people whom i miss alot...but I miss him more ok...hekhek...eh...sadiq...not kelvin eh....And oh yaaaaa.......i passed my 2.4km for the fucking first time la sey...hekhek...happy ok...15 to 17 mins last time...now 11.56 mins dok...great improvement kan....yahoooo...he's proud of me..and i'm very happy bout that...mane ni die...mayb i'll just rest while waiting...:)...Will update soon....Sayang Awak....

2010-06-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

I cant sleep...am i in love?its like a dream...that we had that conversation that i kept smiling to when i tried to sleep...n remembered every single thing u said...u told me u gonna be with me and liked me...how?what should i think of u dear...my heart is beating so fast...oh my...this is how i felt when i was with nik fauzy....u made me laugh like i never laughed before....u make me blush...is it true..i swear i thought it was a dream..if it is....i wouldnt want to wake up pls...but i am embarrassed...i just felt that i wasnt up to ur standard....u r too perfect....what a girl can ask for more...ur ex gf must be stupid to let u go...even if u cheated behind her...i know u loved her only....i just wish i could be next...fuck la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!cant wait to meet you...i want it to over and done....i want u to see me n real life n tell me that u liked me....u r too good to be true....errrggghhhh...puhleaase.....ooh god!!!!

2010-06-09T02:20:00.000-07:00

Mas,Dont u tink its true...hehehehe...

You Are Dreamy and Distracted

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.
You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.
Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

k I am taking stupid quizzes n yeah...i tink i really fine it true...hahaha...most of it...
:)
so i gotta be proud of it right...

You Are an Old Soul

You are an experienced soul who appreciates tradition.
Mellow and wise, you like to be with others but also to be alone.
Down to earth, you are sensible and impatient.
A creature of habit, it takes you a while to warm up to new people.

You hate injustice, and you're very protective of family and friends
A bit demanding, you expect proper behavior from others.
Extremely independent you don't mind living or being alone.
But when you find love, you tend to want marriage right away.

Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul and Visionary Soul

You Are Fearless

You have great dreams and unrelenting ambition. You go for what you want, and it's hard to deter you.
You are incredibly competent and intelligent. You've had a very high success rate in your life.

You tend to dominate people. You have a very strong personality, and others tend to heed to your demands.
You're confident enough to be considered arrogant. You tend to think of other people in terms of what they can do for you.

You Are Coffee

You are highly ambitious and goal oriented. You feel like there isn't enough time in your day to get it all done.
You are outgoing and creative. You love talking with people, thinking up crazy plans, and then acting immediately on them.

When it comes to caffeine, you'd like a refill. You can almost always use an energy boost.
Life is too short. You're going to get as much out of it as you can. You live for today.

You Are an Ice Cream Cake

Surprising, unique, and high maintenance.
You're one of a kind, and you don't want anyone to forget it.
You're fun in small doses, but it's easy for people to overdose on you!

k da enough..penat mate ku...hehehe

2010-06-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

Guess what?...I'm active again...hehehe....enta till when eh...Whohoho....I cant sleep...Urrgghhh...Hot...A lot of doubts...If me,a 19th year old kid have this kind of doubts...how bout when i'm 40 eh...hahaha...Ok...Just now i had a moment...moment of infatuation...hehehe...malu i...Got to know this gguy from tagged...Cute nak mampos...i call him My Rain...Cuz he look like rain...I swear didnt expect him to ask for my number...or even said somethings to me...But well....Mayb for that moment jer...I miss falling in love...I miss pampering someone,I miss getting I love you everyday...and especially kissing someone i really love....Honestly...the last person i really2 loved was the 3 years plus ex...after that trying my best to move on...But well see where i am now...i may say its not important...But it keep passing through my mind...Like i said..Mayb its not my time yet...K enouggh eh emo2...ahahaha...I really wanna meet this Shinskay guy...Hope to meet him after my Laos trip...I may sound desperate n stuff...N ingat aku mane nyer hotstuff...Well...i still got a life...mending my mistakes n learning from it...exploring with care...still go for what i want...Sometimes u just got to fall...Yes we have no right to say ppl...Everybody is Judgemental...everybody....so sometimes u got to accept the fact...its either u r ugly,fat,skinny,wannabe & etc....Well...Accept urself then people can accept u....K aku pon tak tau aper aku bebual...I cant sleep...I am tired....Shit man...pfft...

2010-06-04T06:28:00.000-07:00

Hey...Decided to update my blog...the blog was so dusty...full of spiderwebs...ahaha...Well..if u ask me...My life is doing pretty good...But before this alot of ups and down..Mostly in Love...Come n go..go n come...mcm soyal...Well..honestly now i am sick n tired to start all over again...Just wait for the right time...i realised that i forced love..thats y it doesnt work the way i want it too...yes...admit i do have alot of crushes...crushes jer pe...but dont mean that i really2 want that person...aku ni sedar diri...but sometimes tu tak jugak la...but what to do...ok..stress free now...presentation lepas...went well..never expected it...but kinda dissapointed that i failed my theory...well..i guess i really got to buck up...6 mnths left...i really2 hope to werk with my dad and take over his company and run it...but well i know myself...i really got to buck up in life...in anyways...so i can get what i want in life....like me always wanting to loose weight...but not successful yet...i repeat yet...i wont give up on having my ideal body...i really got to put my heart into it....Ironmaniacs is there to help me on my weight...And i have supporters too...hehe...but not my mum...she sengaje cook nice2...so tempting...like every fucking single day...but at least i mantained....Cant wait to go gym again....when u have a gym companion..its fun...seriously...i'm gonna start to call up my gerlfrens out there to get back in shape...especially u,madam...u know who u are...whatever i need now is money,family,friends n someone who loves me n also who i love too...but thats not important right....i single u single...kite mingle2 jer la...in life sometimes we really got to thing twice before doing anything...cuz that mistake u have done might rack up everything and leave you regretting....i have done alot...n now i realise...so now i am mending n putting the bricks all over again(bricks means my life)...but this time with cement(cements means something that hold it up together)...n let it dry totally(Not going halfway n crash it all down again)...I have something that people would die for....parents like mine...a living like mine...so i guess its time for me to make full use of it...n treasure every bits n pieces...

This post is for the following person below....Without them,life would really be dull
Felt completed when i am with them...
They are Fun n Loving people...
Thats why i love them soo much

Nur Mashitah & Nurfarhan
BFF
A sibling that god chose not to give

Me&Nur Hafizah&Nur Subhana
The other BF in school
We may have our problems but whatever it is we still have eachother interest at heart...

Heading to Laos next week...I cant wait..Mayb when i come back...i'll be a changed person on some ways....Cant wait for outing with BFF on sunday..Sex in the city here i come...;)

2010-05-05T10:32:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum semua...i'm back...sebenarnyer aku ni g london....ader hal uh nak settel kat saner...k jap...aku macam paham lak kan...am moving on just fine...now am attached to muhammad muzzammil bin nazeer...hahaha...fucking shocking kan....aku tau...i myself cant believe it....k...as pernormal.school firends boyfriends la eh....i am enjoying life as it s now...its just somethings i am still not happy bout....i wish i have a macine gun...then i tell u...settle...i am soorry to whom i have hurt....i am just in desperate to move on and start anew...just go on life as it is...if it happens again...well...life is unfair...meeting babylove tomorrow...watching IPman...yahoo....cant wait to hug2 n kiss2 him...raaaawwrr!!!hekhek....remember i used to complain bout my weight...tak beruba2 la sey...geram tau....i am so not gonna eat tomorrow...fucked up man....sheesh...aku nak perot flat....training is a killer...thanks to malek...addicted to it now...saving up money to buy fat burner...i want obvious cutting arms...hehe....k..aku mcm yeye siak....just hope by end of this year...i get what i want k....k la..thats all for now...will update more....soon i guess....:)

2010-04-07T11:09:00.000-07:00

Eh...aku ader blog eh...lupe la...hahaha...2 weeks of holidays just past so fast eyy...aku pon tak tau aper aku da buat for this 2 weeks...ckp jer nak loose weight...mase same jer...2kg off...tak gune...no difference...bodo siak...hahahaha....tkper2...i'll have to work for it...as khai said...slowly...got to work for it...tak senang....insyallah....malek is helping me...these 6 weeks...hopes theres a change la eeh...bole punya....i miss my so called bf....bz with work...waking him up later...then meet up with girls...n head to the gym...sorry malek i cant join u...pfft...diet...starts tomorrow..ouch....hehehe...6 weeks baby...

2010-03-24T13:55:00.000-07:00

Mr J....That photo of urs never fail to make me smile...giggling...even if u left me heartbroken on the floor...i have been looking at profile tons of time a day...trrying to keep up on how u r doing...i dont know what made u leave me...but u can just tell me...i had warned u...if its time that u r leaving me...i rather u tell me straight to my face...its a waste for what u had done for me...the cash u had spent...the love u had given...the time u had waste...the energy....well..its ur lost...i will cherish every moment that we had spent....cuz u r one of the special ones that i had been with...i wont be surprise of its u again...cuz ill be waiting...waiting to tell u how i feel when u had gone away just like that...same goes to u
Mr R....u told me that u would consider us again...but i just dont understand whats the problem...u told me that u would give me time...but u gave me a heartbreak...u told me u r proud of me....n the next i am hearing there this another girl...u r sweet n a guy i would consider being with...but this just stop me...its how unreasonable u r...
Mr K....Even its just 2 months that it ended...doesnt mean i can forget it just yet...now that u had silenced urself...i got not much to say...u told me not to regret...i have nothing to regret bout...but u...u should see under what situation u r in...now u dont need me...n i hope u wont be angry if one day i treat u as a rebound...cause i dont ever want to remember what u was to me...i hope u r happy....just dont call me when u're sober...

These 3 guys broke my heart BIG time...but still life move on...nothing i can elaborate more...
cause the same thing keep happening...well...now its goal,family n friends...tat i got to focus on...
for love...i will be still taking my time n risk just to find not the perfect but the right one...slowly la sister...hehehe...ok i lost 1kg for the past 2 weeks...i hope it would be faster now...hek hek....alif...gym...esok...hahahaha...oh ya....i am meeting nik fauzy later...hahaha...lepas kan rindu katekan....fling flong...cant wait for the date Mr S....heheehhehe...Mr N...i just hope we could know eachother more...cuz u r fucking cute can....hahahaha....farhan...u can do it baby...i miss you Mr J....:(..girls...outing soon....pls...aku nak enjoy...hahaha....tapi enjoy makan tidak dibenarkan....
Didi...i hope u r happy with him...wish the best for u n him...last long..
Fiza...i hope u r happy too....take it slow aites...
Mas...Be strong...i will always be here for u...remember 'girl power'...
n to myself...damn girl...u r doing just fine...hahahahaha...

i cant sleep...CCB!...gonna give Mr N a wakey morning call later..hansem tau die...hehehe...farhan gatal...biase jugak...pls tag me on my tagboard...buat aper ader blog mcm gini...halamak...i love my people...

2010-03-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

Hey2.....well...life's good...love life...kwang3...n i dont give a damn shit bout it....its time for a change...my closest ones know what i am talking bout...skrg da betol2 zaman setan uh eh...shocked of the reality of having a relationship..sooner or later...shit will happen...had a wake up call from mom yesterday...n yeah...slowly la eh...aku nyer slowly mcm lame gitu k...well...this for real...going gym with alif later...work my ass off...smlm jogging da mcm malas...no mood la eh...1st time in 3 months tak jejak gym...i wanna fit into that dress...plsss....aiming too lose 6 kg in 2 weeks...can2?k da...am taking my car license soon....by end of this month...car license mayb when i am in the middle of finishing my car license...i want a fucking motor can..then i am complete...yes a moto,not dicks...but i am sure that day wont come...kalau tak moto...honda crossroads la eh...fuck that car turn me on la sey...wuhuhuu....i want to go club can....pls pls pls....thats my heaven for now...segalanye lupekan....aaarrrggghhh...hahaha...i am missing a lot of ppl now...even if they had done shits...i miss hanging oout with them...now i only got alif lyn mas n my ite gerls....they r the ones who makes me pull through stupid situations n stupid heartbreaks...thanks guys....k..mane alif ni..kate nak call...asshole....eerrrggghhhh....

2010-03-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

Ok pa ni..lagi hot kan...ni la aku..kalau tkder keje...mampos..mcm2..i am fucking bored siak...

2010-03-17T23:02:00.000-07:00

OK PA?!!!!
HOTSTUFF KAPA?!!!
BAEK PA?!!!!HEHEHEHEEHE
Berangan kejap aku nak badan gitu..
baek uh...
soon to be kapa?!

heheheeh..
Just give me 2 to 3 months...
i am sure to change...hope u will hang in there....
i really dont want things to happen again....
i really like u...u make me laugh n make me feel special somehow...
i cant say that to you..cuz i cant afford to let u slip away...
k go....

2010-03-06T20:02:00.000-08:00

I've been waiting for ur msg....from yesterday...i'm really just hurt...after what happen...what u promise me...what u had plan out for us...i just want a happily ever after...i let u decide...i still wanna spent time with you...i still wanna love you...i really thought of committing to you till we grow old.u made me feel like i am someone...but after the talk at the library...u make me think the other way...by that time i believe u can find someone better...its a mistake...mistake that we started too soon...u gave me high hopes mr...just thought i can move on after hell of 3 years..but the problem always seems to be me...i still think of you...thinking how r u coping...have u eaten?r u tired?i miss the way u kiss me on my cheek...the hug...but y must it end up like this...yes...its just two weeks...but u already had a place in my heart....but now...i wish you love cause i know u n me will never be....

2010-03-05T03:38:00.000-08:00

Addicted to this chinese and indian boy...
ssshhhh!!!!!!
well...
a lesson to be learnt...
I know u love me Darling...
i'll still be here for you...

2010-03-03T21:22:00.000-08:00

A lot happened...i am just tired....tired of getting reasons that i am not good enough...fuck..i am never good enough for u...go find soameone that can really entertain u...make u happy...work like u do...then i'll go find someone as childish as me...i still wanna have fun...i still wanna slack while i still can...well...i just hope this other person can be with me...cause i am enjoying very minute when i am with him....just love this chinese boy....heheheheheheehheheheh....boys will be boys la eh....i am getting used to it....gonna be stoic....k aper aku merepek....meeting wann bff later...miss him loadz...catch up with things....having pit this week..i just hope things go on like this....cuZ i am fucking enjoying every minute of it....chinese boy...i miss u la....

2010-02-20T18:24:00.000-08:00

Ok Ok...time for a proper update...i am currently tiarap on my bed...with stuff all around me that is my room is messy..rabak punya...gonna clean it up reaaaallll sooooooon(i think)...ok...for the past post kan...u can see that i am in loove...its not time to reveal who he is but...oh my...this Mr R.N...he is the sweetest guy..mcm gule...hehe..yesterday we went to watch a movie at bollywood talkies..watch my name is khan..i thought in a million years i wont ever watch a hindi movie...with aa guy...a lot of punjabi ppl there...haha...while waiting for the movie...we went to eat waffles...not bad la..kat suntec..then talk2...he ask me to change the way i dress mcm typical2...tak baek kan..but i agree la...ask me to pakai mcm kakak2...well..i'll try my best to impress him...cause hell yeah he impress me alot...after movie he bring me to marina barrage...sweet bodo....sit there talk2...he even made a list of places to bring me...which are the places i never gone before...he going to ajak me rollerblading....aarrrggghh....he said after bringing me to such places...finish the destinations...its gonna be overseas...cute kan ni budak....eeee..he made me feel really special when the start i met him...after marina barrage..we went to the railwat station to have our dinner...we ate chappati n thosai...betol2 nye mama la kite due...hahaha...sedap la the food there...aku kan jakun...org tak ajak aku kelua makan...then we went to the park to have another talking session...then we both went home...he was soo tired...due too work n layan org giler like me..enta when i am with him..i swear i am quiet...kalau ngan org laen...fucking talkative...first time someone ask me to be irritating to him...haha...no comment la eh...am just afraid that i would loose someone i love again...i miss him...hope to see him tomorrow...its a low profile reelationships...cause its still too early....boy,its unbelievable... love you...

2010-02-19T03:18:00.000-08:00

aku sayang dia ma....
i am soo loving my life now...
this moment is soo perfecto...
just that i really got to buck up on my studies...
i miss my darling...
cant wait for the satuday outing...wuhuuhu...
tergoda hatiku....
ILYSM,Mr R.N...

2010-02-17T19:36:00.000-08:00

Can i just say i am the luckiest girl in the world...

This is the best feeling....

I love you...

2010-02-16T19:17:00.000-08:00

I Love Him...

2010-02-15T20:00:00.000-08:00

Can i say that i have fallen in love...he called me...msg me before he eats...oh my...now he is busy werking...going for his target today...u go darling...we had a conversation...yesterday...he is like my brother...he treats me like a sister...mcm enta eh..syg la..wants me to do better...in the future...well,i really got to change...buck up...now i gt motivation..to lose weight,to study hard,to love my family more...n first time in my life....a guy that i want called me NUR!...am i like dreaming or something...k k..rileks farhan...getting like over excited...

i feel bad...about someone...he told me how he felt bout me...n now i am in love with someone else...see how love can change ppl mind...soo we must understand and learn how to let go things...i'm the lucky one...i really feel like it...well..guys like to be low profile kan..well...yeah...i got to see how too...i really like him...love is a different thing...it will take times kan...well now i got to explain things..yes my mistake...aku sudah jatoh cinta sista....!!!!

2010-02-15T06:35:00.000-08:00

I just came back from a date...
its not with fattah...its with someone else...this guy i just know 2 days ago by tagged..
i told him his face was fimiliar..very fimiliar..check2 budak ex-punggol primary..we were
friends...we just had normal conversation on msn..then suddenly he wanted to have ice cream with me..ok i kow sounds wrong kan...we chatted n contacted on the phone...i didnt know things would happen...n it really happened...my intention was just to makke friends with him...know him better...but its seems like we knew eachother before we meet...its like i met him before..the feeling uh..when two peramah ppl meet..gini la..talk2 non stop..then things happen..n for ur info kan...he kenal kelvin...n kanan(kelvin bro)..k da...best date ever had...he paid for everything...he made me smile so wide since mr ex-bf...he made my day...n u know what..i think i am in love...in love with mr r...korg wait long2 eh nak tau name die...actually esok2 pon bole...symptoms of falling in love...u smile a lot when u r alone...u tink of him a lot...wish to meet him again...tu la aku rase...skrg...yes we have meet only one day...we know we got potential for eachother...he is supportive,open-minded,fierce,future minded,understanding,funny...n god...how can i ask for more...thats enough..he know his responsiblities...is it him...aarrrggghh....

2010-02-14T18:43:00.001-08:00

hahahahahahahhaha...thanks eh zaza...i tau..hahahaha....things is just getting started for me...i am learning to move on...forgetting the past slowly...i take it as a lesson to learn la eh...hehehehe..yesterday which is valetines..went to JB..went to relatives house...eat sleep...eat sleep...did a lil shopping...n u know what i only bought kotex...yes sanitary pad...hahahaha...nothing to buy..most of the shops tere are close...i keep listening to happy songs...meaning i am happy now..cause u know why.....ahaahahahahahahaha....my crush last time and my date now...somehow i feel in love at the same time i wanna rileks first...he is sweet and funny...first date was kinda awkward actually...most are just silence...ttapi behind those silent moment..hahahahha...valentines day...which was at 2 plus i couldnt remember...he suddenly mention..he would like to be in a relationship with me...i was like smiling so wide when he said that..it took him few minits just to say that tau...mcm tergagap...well..honestly i told him..its still to early...dont u think soo....i wanna meet him next time...so i can see the real him..that day wasnt him la...he was soo quiet...mcm..malu to the maxx...he keep telling me we are frens...skali2 denga2 skrg...frens per...well...now he know i want him...n i know he want me...so chill eh sistaz...we see how eh...hahahaha

2010-02-12T18:33:00.000-08:00

gdmorning ppl...Just woke up from a good night sleep...haha...so its hard for me so far...to move on...dragging my butt...trying to get back on my feet..haha...nothing much happen..but yesterday something much happen...a proper dater for the past 3 years with someone i like...wuhuhu...we went to vivo...then town...walk2 like gundu...sit down..keep quiet...tersenyap...seriously mcm gundu...then we talk2 a lil..he is kinda funny..there is a lot of things i know bout him now...diam2 lepu...check2 mcm badot jugak...normal guys la...well i find him ok la eh...braper banyak shopping mall kite masok...kenal2 with his so called family angkat...he sent me a msg...that really made my day..no noo i mean night...just hope i'll have another date with him soon...behind those silent...i really just enjoyed looking at him..hahaha...farhan gatal.....

Survivor

2010-02-10T08:00:00.000-08:00

Just talk to him over the phone...he made me forget everything...even the pain i have gone true...
i really wish that he would continue doing what he does now...so i can move on...
forget the painful wounds...
i hope he can accept me for the way i am....
cause...i guess he can transform me...
or
make me forget about my past....
really had fun talking to him....
:)

2010-02-08T04:22:00.000-08:00

i have been trying my best to move on....and still trying...i wouldnt call it love if u wouldnt want me back...i wouldnt call me love if u asked me to move on..i wouldnt call it love if u wouldnt change...i do expect something from you...a lot of things...you know that u cant give me...thats y u let me go...u know that u can move on thats y u let me go...u know its impossible between us thats y u let me go...u know it would be better if i am not with you thats y u let me go...i understand...i am just honoured that i ever been ur gerlfren...u msg me...u dont know how excited i am..to see ur name appearing on my phone...and i also hate it when ppl asked me how are things u n me...i just tel them...i rather not talk bout it...see how much u meant to me...i would've let u go years ago...but its just i was so in love with you...i was so attached to u...i done everything just to be with you...n this is what i get...just get ready n dont get shocked if i said...its too late to apologise...i have feelings too...not only yyou...i can move on too..not only you...i have frens too...not only you...there are always solutions to problem...there are always sadness in life...sometimes u just got to accept the truth....i was ready to accept when u didnt do anyting to make me feel better...well...lets not drag this on...aku percaya...kalau ada jodoh...kita akan bertemu lagi....kalau tidak...ini semua adalah di tangan tuhan....

2010-02-05T03:27:00.000-08:00

i guess i got to move on this time...change my life....do something good...fill up my times with neccesary things...afterall...what my mum said was right...they(family) will always be the one there for you...friends too...i like to thank you to the frens and strangers for being there for me..too comfort me...advice me..listening to my problems ...apprecieted it much...and also to the informers...well i have tried my best...that is all i know...girls...be strong if u face such things...if he do that..he doesnt deserve you..i am sure there are a lot of girls out there just like me...well...i got something in mind already to make a change...as in doing something good...helping at Laos...my school have arranged a volunteer thingi...helping out the people in dfficulties...cool kan...i can go gardening,plumbing,farm....and its 2 weeks ok...haha...mr goh said i can also lose weight...haha...mcm boot camp...well..bring it on baby...its like i can lose weight and also help others at the same time...cool shit kan...cant wait...18 march...but wait...i have to learn swimming first...didi tetek teach me k?gym tomorrow....mayb hang out with my frens..wait..i got chingay...ahaha...lupe da...now i am free...loving it...buut there are moments i flashback...what i have been going through and also the times i spent with him...well...thats love...i really hope he is happy la eh...

2010-02-03T21:42:00.000-08:00

currently at school right now...first time feel like not chaboting...haha...well...its all because of him la...guys...i have been with him for 3 years plus...things shouuld be understandable by now right..he should know how i feel he do dis and that...i should understand him too...i know...but there are somethings i just cant accept..well i apologise to him a lot of time for what wrong doings i have done...but him...he take it as nothing happen...i must convince him to apologise...i even must remind him to take care of me...ni uh jantan da ader moto...org yang slalu ngan die,die lupe.kawan,lepak tu jer die ingat...i tried my best to help him...to understand him...but does he understand me...does he know how i feel...i keep telling him i love him...cant he just be other boyfriends...yes frens is must for them...hangging out is a must for them...but atleast have some initiative to entertain me...listen to me...he keep saying dont teach him that and dis...fine i am irritating...keep telling him what i want in a relationship...y cant he just do that...n we move on easy...its not difficult...u see...i am angry now because he always get back home early morning from lepak...when i want to call him talk to him...he wudnt want to entertain me...he will sleep..tired cause of i dont know what...then he wake up straight to work...it goes on like that again n again...is there time for me...i feel neglected...whenever i go his place...he would be sleeping...not welcome me...once in a blue moon he would be awake...i tried testing him to fetch me from my house to his place...after he just came back from lepaking...he didnt msg me at all...usually he would msg me wherever he go...fine batt low...balek msg la...ni i tanyer die..ckp abg die pakai hp...its all excuses...easy to be said die da malas nak layan me...he can ask me this just yesterday...he said

him"Ling,katekan la kan,kalau i ader kawan pompuan,i le tompang die"

me"siaper kawan pompaun ling"

him"ader la"

me"no"

him"knaper tak bole?kawan per"

the conversation was something like that...

i am ur gerlfren...let me know ur frens..u just met her..u da tompang die...malam lak tu..ajak2 jalan..abe aku..teperok kat ruma kau...tido...haha...pathetic kan...well sayang nyer pasal...he ckp pandai...pompuan masai la ni la tu la...check2 die pon tersangkut...lust bring them in...i know i am not as pretty as what he wants...girls..if u were in my shoes..i am sure u will think the same as me kan...i am not the type where i can just lost interest in someone i really love...i will try my very best ot make him happy...but i would like it if he do that to me back...well..its hard...very hard...but i want to put this to an end...i hate typical mat moto...mat rempits...lepak bawa blok for no reasons pagi2 bute.everyday lak tu..pls la...get a life la...sorry its not no reasons...its nak jumpe pompuan...hahaha...i know la...ni sume common sense...sanggup ke kau penat2 dari keje nak g lepak sampai pagi2 bute...come on...well...can i just advice u something dear...one word...karma...Ling i just hope u r happy with ur life now...u can tompang whoever u want...i hope the girl u will be with can take care of u...as pernormal...i will always say this when such things happen...i love u always kelvin s/o krishnan...

I gotta say I found this a bit shockin

Boy how could you lie to me?

I thought you would die for me

After three years Ima let it go

Can't stand around cryin no more
I'm fightin with myself

I can't hurt you even though you hurt me

It really hurts to say this yes it does...But after a while sweet love just aint enough..So many settle for less just because...Maybe i'm more in love with what it was...But what's gets so confusing baby..You and me...It's been so much confusion lately..You couldn't see that you were losing me...

2010-01-31T09:19:00.000-08:00

i really would give up my life to turn back time...cuz what i am feeling now is eating me up inside...what did i do myself....i make myself suffer cause of love...i have a choice..but y i keep turning back to him....i really feel insecure being with him...i wonder y..

2010-01-31T06:53:00.000-08:00

Betapa remuk jantungku
Kau tipu aku
Kau tipu aku
Betapa sakit hatiku
Kau buang aku
Kau buang aku

Ku tatap langit yang hitam
Saat menanti malam
Kau pun tak kunjung datang
Kau buat gelap pelangi
Lalu kau datang lagi
Membuat luka ini

Reff:
Kau jangan mencoba untuk di sini
Kau jangan mencoba untuk kembali
Bila kau di sini
Biar ku yang pergi

Kau tlah ingkari semua janjimu
Kau tlah ingkari semua sumpahmu
Sudah usai sudah cerita tentang kita

Jangan pernah kau di sini
Jangan pernah kau kembali
Jangan pernah kau di sini
Aaaaa

Betapa remuk jantungku
Kau tipu aku
Kau tipu aku

2010-01-27T19:57:00.000-08:00

Its hard...but what the hell kan...one day i will have it my way...i aint trippin...yanmsayin...hhahaha...its your lost..my lost...dont worry...i can get it back..but better...just look what u r doing boy..it may cost you a lot...hahahha...naseb2...just dont regret if one day...i will be gone without a word...i know my frens are always there for me....jantan2...da sar bodo...kite tunjok bodo..padahal dorg lagi bodo nak mampos....k da...buat saket hatii jer..fikir2 kan...

k ni lak...sal crush aku kat skola...lame2 aku tenok die kan...mcm action uh...but i am in a crush with hiss fren...cute jugak....waduh...hahaha..kalau aku dapat die...kan best...jgn die tau aku ader mataer suda la eh...he did look at me u know...ouch...lema hati ku...ala tengok gitu jer...bukan pandangan pertama....hehehe...my eye is one u now boy..hahaha....my dream is to fly over the rainbow so high...wuhuhuhu...

kelvin nak kelua kan moto nyari...honestly aku ni tak reti naek2 moto...hahaha...braper banyak kali aku naek...kekok jugak...pasal aku ni jakun...hahahaha..see la how...i jumpe die nyari ke tak...hehehe...mcm da malas aku....things keep happening...and aku damalas nak layan lagi...tak syg suda...hehe...aku lapar..tapi tahan...diet oi...nak kurus...hehe..k la wanna do duty co-op...hehe...

satu amaran untok jantan mulot mcm puki eh...hahaha...jage tu mulot...kau nak kate aku...ko tengok diri sendiri dulu...aku jahat...jgn ingat kau baek....hahaha...sundal...nak tunjok org aper...aku murah...hahaha....kau tu konek da gatal...tak dapat..diam2 jer la...hhahahaha...baek uh lu...salute...hehehe....

2010-01-22T05:08:00.000-08:00

Hahaha...i really dont know what have gotten into me these days...its like...with kelvin kan...i am one psycho...he even told me that...now i should know y he doesnt like to go out with me...that is y die kelua ngaan pompuan laen...sedih eh..mataer senddiri ckp mcm gitu...haha..i no hal brother...naseb jer la kalau aku tak jadi giler ngan ko...i am a psycho girlfriend...i admmit that i am...but these days..i have been behaving myself...he hurt me emotionnally...quite a number of times..when i cry...he would always ask...y i cry..and he said straight to my face...he would never understand me...i just wonder..y am i stilll here...y i let myself suffer....its all because i love him...what i've got to do to get treated fairly...sometimes i wished that i am heartless as he is...he never lend me a shoulder to cry on...whenever i cry..he woould always let me cry on my own....there are times la he hugged me...but that is the time i will always cry more cuz...in my heart...i wouldnt want to lose him just yet...but he just wont undertsand...i will reckon...if i was pretty as paula or some star...he would treat me better...if i gave him money..he would treat me better...that is my thought...i always feel ugly becuz of him..i am disgusted...i lost my self esteem this few years becuz of him...i lost my parents trust...cuz of him...but cant he see that i was always there for him...entertain him...but when its comes to my trouble or my problem....he will run far away and ignore me...and he calls me crazy....y does this happen in 3 years....what did i do to deserve this...whatever i said...about love about hardship...he will forget...love should grow..but i feel his is fading...he even dared to meet up a girl behind me...god is great...i caught him with my own eyes...have he even thought of my life....what i want...how i want to get treated...his promise is always in the dark...i wished he was thoughtful...just fetching me from school...make my heart wonders...even from the bus stop is enough...but it is soo difficult for him...i didnt ask him to buy me flowers...buy me shoes...if its possible...i would...cuz i fucking understand him...now he said that he dont like to go out with me cuz i always start a fight...y would i...cuz he make me angry...seriously...would u girls or guys sanggup kan...banggun pagi jumpe mataer..i know u would....after tiring day of school...late in the afternoon sanggup g ruma die...just for a short nap and lunch...not a walk in the mall...i wish i can...haiz...he still dont understand...y i cry....y i tried my best to make him happy...and realise i want more from him...i dont want money....i want love...i want to be pampered...its soo difficult for me....haiz...well...its hard...i hope one day he realise...how good i am to him..and i can get his love in return...but he is good enough to me than some other guys out there....i just want to be treated like his princess...

2010-01-19T18:34:00.000-08:00

Omg!!!I am so embarrassed...one fo the most embarrasing moments in my life...thanks to mr gucci boy...y must he do thiis to me...tak bole aman uh bile aku suke seseorang tu...thanks a lot la...now i feel so awkward when i see him...kalau aku lawa mcm beyonce tkper jugak...conferm dalam hati die kan...gatal nyer pompuan...hahaha...well...got to admit i am...but i didnt say anything to clarence that i like him..he can still say that i am desperate..kalau aku desperat kan..aku da minatk number eh brother...its just a admire thing...conferm got a lot of girls have eyes on him kan...waliau...hancur sia harapan...nak buat KAWAN eh..i repeat...KAWAN!!!!!...fUCK LA...i had insomnia yesterday...and today...stress and depression..i saw him at the canteen just now..and oh god!its like my heart is going out of control...i might just forget bout him la eh...its beyond my dream la kalau aku le dapat dier...kalau jantan yang tak sebraper hansome tak pandang aku aper lagi kalau die kan...yeah...aku ni sedar diri...aku tau aku siaper...but fuck...y must this happen eh...its soo sad...soo sad..its a sad sad situation...omg....arrrggghhhh...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-18T00:46:00.000-08:00

His name is sufyan...my heart now beats for him...he makes me forget my problems...he may not know me...but i realise him..i may sound cheeky...which i cannot look at cute guys...but him..its different...its like...i am willing to change for him...if i get him...hahaha...when kelvin give me problems...then i think of him...semua hilang...even my legs have heartbeats..that is for sufyan...haha...somehow...he is the only guy that can make escape all these sufferings...mcm u know..he can save me if he were into me...bbut tu sume lu le mimpi suda eh farhan..i have very low self esteem...with guys...ehe..kalau part nak step jambu...aku tak..hahaha...i just wanna break down n cry...he is giving me too much problems....wtf....its hard...seriously...i am not done...well...he is starting work tomorrow...and fuck..am i worried cuz lots of stuff in my head....ok farhan..breath in n out...think sufyan...sufyan...sufyannn....adui!!!!!fiza darling...jgnn maen ngan kayyu lagi k...get well soon...k la...aku lapa...going to sleep..unexpectedly...mum never cook..wth...lapa siak...nitez ppl..Sufyan!!!!!!!

2010-01-17T05:07:00.000-08:00

I am Done...

Washed my brains out...

And i hope i made the right decisions...

2010-01-16T06:18:00.000-08:00

aku tolerate ngan kau cukop2...mase nak buat hal kan...

skrg aku ckp ngan kau...fuck off...hahaha...too bad uh aku syg kau mcm nak rak...

naseb kau baek...but if there is a next time...

gua ckp bye bye...and i am not turning back again...i swear...sal jantan mcm kau tak gune...hahaha...gerls jgn jadi mcm aku k..jantan buat hal..yang mcm sundal...mase maafkan...aku confirm ngan kau...1 day...u will say this to urself...aku menyesal...and u will say that u deserve better..cuz everyone deserve better...hahah...my mum bring me up not to trust guys...but i didnt heed her advice...i end up suffer alone in the dark cuz of fucked up dickheads...young girls..pls...listen to ur mum...cherish them..u can have fun..but not too much..kalau tak lupe dunia...aku tengok skrg...bohsia banyak uh kat singapore...y get crazy over guys with motor...nak transport..mak bapak ader per...kalau malas...kawan uh..ni kenal jantan moto 1 hari...kasi pakedek...da...when u grow old..and u think of the past...u r making a fool of urself...its not worth it..lelaki kutok kau...makcik2 pompuan2 umo kau kutok kau..pompaun da use...eeeeee..if u realise it..start a new...there is mr right out there...insyallah...i have realise something...aper kau buat skrg...ur own kin gonna go through it one day..u know it time...berubah la kamu sebelum kamu die beruba kan...hehe...well..i am ready if my daughter gonna do this to me one day..and will try my best to endure it...hehe...k la...aku penat...aku rindu dancing2....aku rindu die...kekasih gelap aku...aaku da tak rindu si siaaal tu..sal die brani buat kencing lagi...haha...i no hal bro...k kaki aku numb...bye...thanks mas,fiza,diyanah for being there for me...i love u all...hehehe...

2010-01-13T05:52:00.000-08:00

i can choose to move on...but i stayed...

i can lead a better life but i let it pass....

i can be someone better girlfriend but i let it go...

cuz love blind me in every way that one day i blame myself of being in love...it isnt easy...

leading a life of mine...confuse...

because of love...distractions...by love...

how i wish everything can end...as soon as possible....everything...i dont want to trouble anybody anymore...how i wish i have on and off button on me...soo i wont have to go through such things...

love leads me to stupidity...

love leads me to anger and sadness...

love leads me to happiness and excitement...

but somehw in love...

u know u wont be happy forever...

it always end with a shattered heart of yours...

but u still wanna stay....

u want it or dun want it...

ur choice farhan...

my answer is..it takes time...

Micheal Buble fucking Hot....

feel like ****ING HIM....

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

2010-01-09T17:40:00.000-08:00

Gdmorning my darlings....am very tired...body all over aching..dont know why..haha..had a great day yesterday...meet up with few ex hougeanss...tak menyesal g chalet...meet up with di and fiza halfway...suppose to go chingay tau...perangai mcm soyal....k tkper...i miissed some of the guys there...but sadly they didnt talk much to me...ehehe...i wish that i can sleep over sey...hehe..too bad bro dont allow me too...cuz he got a chalet today..and wants me to help out...hehehehe...nak tengok jugak kawan hansem2 nyer...hehehe...bole bole bole....meeting my love soon...and just for awhile..sedih i...gonna look for somethng nice to where....k k...gotta help mum with the fod preparation...chowz...

mr kelvin s/o krishnan..i love u soo much...the best i ever had....hehe...shuddup la u...

2010-01-06T22:04:00.000-08:00

Hi ppl..Happy new YEAR eh...sebanarnyer aku ni bored mendak oi...kat skola biase jugak..suppose to do autocad now...missing my buby boy...suppose to meet him...but stupid school finish late...arrgghhh..i am not ready for school oi..like teacher say i need to warm up...hahaha...serious aku pemalas nak mamppos...u should see my roon...how messy it is...my clothe all over the place...haha..well today is the day i kemas...now is only 2.15 oi...2 hrs 45 mins more...giler sey...hahaha..buat autocad non-stop...haha...fiza sebelah semangat...me n d...blog and surfing the net...i swear i feel like chabot...but tadi kene mara ngan goh...serious to the max mendak...currently listening to songs...and blogging..aku tau random kan..aku msg si dodol ni...tak reply...biingit oi...hahaha...k da...bye...

2009-12-29T06:52:00.000-08:00

Aku Dan Dia...

Cey2...farhan da nak bebual sal love uh....hehe....i love him...mcm mane die nyer sial pon aku mase syg kan die...he knocks me down again and again..but i still wont give...i dont mind getting up 8 in the morning...bath..wear nice clothes and make up just to meet him at his place...i dont mind helpnig him when he is in need...i dont mind him looking at girls cuz i know i am not the only girl he is allowed to look at...and also not the prettiest...its like asal kan die gembira suda la eh...i never fell in love like this before...like duh..sebelom him all cinta monyenyet...didnt know it will come till this far...and i am glad...we accept both of our mistakes...forgive and forget...well..i know i am being faithful enough to him..but dont know bout him...hope i wont have to see it with my own eyes again...well...this is for real la eh...i really love him..i may complain that he sux and stuff..but that was just for moments...boys will be boys....and perangai mcm sundalans....haha...esok start jogging uh...i fucking want a flat stomach....gonna work for it...go go go...ggua tak saba new year...gua mau celebrate ngan gua nyer lover boy uh...hahahah...

amek kau..kene hempap...

i bet he cant breath...

i wish i can still do that to him when i am 50...

king of maki...hahaha....

love

2009-12-27T00:14:00.000-08:00

hey2....first of all i wanna say i miss my ladies out there...miss my darrling...miss my laughing pills...bloghopping from just now...i wanna say something that i have been keeping in my heart...guys now are just cheapskate aand big fat liar...nampak jer baek..ckp jer syg...perangai kat blakang mcm sundal...a lot of things happen...me,my mum,my frens,my sis in law...who ever arre females la...conferm kene....jantan is the worst creeatures in the world la...i wish i can call everyone of them..yeah i know i owned on...yes i do love him..but sometimes i really wish i can kill him...kalau jantan laen le buat kite..takkan kite nyer mataer tak le kan...lagi kite syg..lagi sakit hati kite ni....i chatted with this guy...he asked me whether if i am single...i am honest enough to say that i have a loving boyfriend...and he said he was single..who give the fuck care..so what kalau kau ader mataer sial...who cares u have motor...big fuck...and i was browsing through the blog of my friend's friend's friend..skali2 see that guy pic la sey....sial uh...mcm da kene passing around siak...ni sume nak maen jer...sakit buah ple...he never realise his mistakes..ko buat gitu kat pompoan laen...aderk beradik kau kene la nanti...kau tau aper maksod die karma tak...girls...pls..take care of urself and ur boyfriends..aku da serik la...the image of him almost hugging her keep flashing in my mind when i came to think of it...i gave him chance cause i ever made him like that before...so i accept....i have done worst...well if he wanna do that again..its up to him...cuz i will still be there at the end of the day...but hope i wont be stupid enough la eh...da namakan jantan....3 yrs baru nak buat gitu...hahaha...funny...well i've said,i have done worst....memang betol my parents say..jantan sume buaya....i thought they were jus scaring us..cehck2 betol...haha...well thats life..a lil bit of everyting la kan...having dinner later at fish n co. with family....boiffy maen game...game ke game...ooohhh bergini rasa nya hati ku sengsara....hahahaha...school is openng soon...and i aint happy bout that....hahaha...i cant slim down...mum wont stopp cooking delicious food..yes am blaming my mum ....well...but stiil that is one of my goalss la eh...loose anoter 7 kg...da ok....currently overweight eh bro... i miss my baby boy la sey...serious...hahahahaha..maso hospital...tomorrow working...now am healthy enough...duet pokai la sey...can i say something....i really can see that human beings are starting to change for the worst..that is what've i learnt..fina was right...we should bring ourself near god...we have been neglecting him and almost forget about him in whatever we do..we shouldnt do that...senag atau susa...remember him..sejahat2 aku...sesialan2 aku...i still have a heart and a brain....to think...so do you girls...endure for the life to come...cause girls its gona be fucking hard...

Hangover baby!

2009-12-24T19:39:00.000-08:00

i just recover from a absulote drunkness..lets nott call it hangover eh...shitty man...i almost didnt go home eh...mau mati per lu...reach home at 5 am sharp...how should i say it eh..the most ridiculous,happening,funniest momment of my life..and its regarding my boyfriend that is kelvin s/o krishnan...member mabok sial..bukan mabok jer...black out...step ord uh tu..nak celebrate skali...die minum mcm air coke biase siak...the chivas sux man...but the feeling is nice...k farhan..u ever drink before k...thanks eh kak shanti...chivas2..jadi chivos...we were totally drunk...aku srunk joget mc there is no tomoorow...hahaha...kak shanti lagi...hehehe..cute uh bile die joget nagn abg ap...sweet sangat...mataer aku jer tak suppoting..he keep geleng2 kepale...hahaha...tak larat...aku aper lagi..syiok sendiri uh siak...hahaha...cute kan,,naseb tkder mat saleh hansem kat sane...hahahahahahahaha...i really like yesterday...kalau club lagi gerek...but pls no more drinks...sucky u know...seksa siak....muntah2..kalau ader org layan kau mabok tkper ugak...k la...i wanna rest..nanti keje...Cuteness...

Lame2..aku agak tak perlu aku nak kesah sangat....cause i know sooner or later he will let this go...i cant stand those words anymore...

2009-12-19T02:33:00.000-08:00

yesterday get to spent time with my darling and his family..still a lil unsecure cause there is someone out there wanna hurt me somehow...not him eh...ni skrg aku bau jealousy...tkper...i just take it as a joke...but i surely had fun la eh...aku tompang die naek motor k...TZM..jgn maen2...banyak kali accident jugak la...hahaha...arcade la...he was soo fucking sweet...for the past 2 years...ni la kali ke braper jer die buat aku cair...melted u know...my heart never beat so hard before for him...i cant be to happy thouugh...cuz guys are dogs...but i still love him...i am very worried for some of my love ones out there...pls hang on...hope i can be there for u...picture upload soon...aku nyer hp buat hal...da lag sol..sial tol...oh ya...nik mase hidop siak...cb...aku pon tak tau die nak aper ngan aku...jantan sial...nak step prank aku..puki..da la...aku da sengsara..cey sengsara siol...ahaha..and skrg cari aku balek...nak panggil hunny2 konon...i dunt give faces to guys anymore since kelvin did that to me...now i believe there is no good man out there..and for me there is no good farhan anymore...wahahahahahhaha...k k..aku tau aku merepek..k la aku nak lipat baju....jangan kau pandang bibir yang manis....waliau...i miss my doggy...hehehe...

muke mcm tak suke jer

love him soo much

k aku tau....diam...

abg berg kite

kakak sachek kau..hahaha...kurang ajar eh aku...

hahahaha..cuci mate eh...aku tau burok

need you...

hahaha..nak g laut pakai hansem gini...da buang tebiat kan ni budak...

GEMOK!...

AKU TAU...thin and fat...hahaha..thats kelvin sis..small sis...

The day that i went to heaven....

hahahaha...jamz tak aku

perot bonchetz...

wow...sexy mexy...haha

hahaha....time for grinding baby..haha

2009-12-17T04:00:00.000-08:00

i had the fucking time of my life yesterday...dance tiill i cant dance...my heart nearly came out from my mouth...farhan da jejak club la sial...hahaha...happy tau...its a addictive for sure...mcm tanak balek jer...i swear...never felt sooo sooo sooo happening like that b4...k k..shagged now...my llegs are still aching...dancing in heels sommore..hardcore eh...mayb my darling is going today...dbl o...habes la aku...die da sachok gi2...takkan pompuan tanak grind die...he just called me he wanna go bola...bola ke BOLA?!...hahaha...nvm...as long as he pampeer me and love me..he paid for my hair highlight...gave me cash...buy me food...give me love...what can i ask more...oh ya...faithful...nv...every relationship have their problems....k daa...can i go again...cool shit man...hahaha...mina2 tudung zaman sekaran ramai cacat otak....hahahahaha

2009-12-14T04:21:00.000-08:00

amacaim....hahaha...kecoh kan semamlam...i met him early in the morning...hug2 kiss2...and me with a broken heart...skrg da tak...he promise he is not going to do that...buuttt.......like i said...there is always karma baby...revenge...jantan sundalans...hahaha...let god do the job...he did yesterday...but i was too stubborn to realise it...cuz blindly love by him...mas..thank again..without u..i think i would cry 24/7....now..hahaha...i am laughing my guts out...member nak break u know tadi...but stupidly i still want him...hahaha...bodo kan farhan...tkper...cinta...and die kecot siol...kasi aku duet..belikan kan aku shampoo,makan,tidbits...nearly wanted me to buy a perfume...tapi aku tanak...sal aku da ader...he said to me...if i need anything just tell him...sedap sikit hati aku..tapi ko ingat senang kau nak aku luper kan...hahaha....i am no fool boy...kau saba jer...i will have it my way sooner or later....but stiilll i love him soo much...aku tau korg tak paham kan...i have no appetite to eat...i wish this will go on..aku pon nak kurus beb...tunjok sama die...enrolling car soon...taking kickboxing lesson by next year...i hope la...if i save enough cash kan...sad sey hakim not following us...go CLUBBING...kentall eh aku...i know...but serious i cant fucking wait to kenal2 with guys...tapi aku nak yang hot2 la of course...then shake it with my frens....hakim...pls come...plssssss...... wont be fun without u...pfft....k la....anna wash up then mayb go rest...penat oi layan die tadi...kau ckp aku tak tahan lame kan...jgn menangis eh 1 day...hahahahaha....gym,sauna and swimming tomorrow...wuuuhuuuu...here i come baybeh....

2009-12-13T11:33:00.000-08:00

Yes let me repeat that again...it hurts...just dont do that again..in fucking 3 years of relationship..this is my first...jantan da sar anjing...my mum wwas right...dapat yang baek...nak cari lagi...i thought he wasnt like other guys..check2 same la siol...konek sakit...gini uh..haha...mengelitis...buah ple gatal...surprisingly i still want him...i still love him...isnt this stupid in love..3 years...siaper nak g lepas kan gitu kan...i just let my chances go...all because of him...i swear i cant believe my eyes...itts like a dream...imagine the guy u r with for three fucking years...at the traffic light with a girl...u r in the car...wa..i tell you the world came down crashing sia...the vision of that girl and him keep replaying in my mind...i cant sleep a wink...panass dok..i wish i really catch that girls face...haha...soo i can bash her up...ni aku betol2 uh...kelvin said they were frens...i saw him nearly hugging her..touching her small arms...waduh..aku repeat eh..panas dok...he was dumb founded...lying to me that wasnt him...i laugh...i was in the car with mum and sis in law..i am sure my mum heard me...i keep laughing and telling him i saw u...he deny..i swear...i wished now that he die la...or i die...either one go...i hold in my tears in the car aand actt like normal...i dont have anybody to share..so i called mashitah...i am sorry if i disturbed u..i called her and there was tears then blood...yes i have started sliting myself up...cuz i cant hold in anymore...he must have done this a lot of times...3 tahun beb...i know i am not pretty,thin hot girlfriend that he wants...i thought i wanted to be...but i thought he was happy with the person i m now...seriously its really hard...i cant breath...he was being oh so nice to me...i swear i am never thinking of getting married...serious...kalau kau mataer da gini..aper lagi kahwin ssiol...i search the whole house for contact cement...god was angry at me...so he kept it...not wanting me to find it...but there are always shop that sell it kan...haha...i nearly killed myself...i know i wwas acting rashly...but thats the only wway..he asked me where i wanna go..wah3...wants me to forgive him...not taht easy eh bro...u havent know whose farhan yet..if i get to see that grl..i am really gonna bash the hell out...bukan sala die..haha bia die menyesal..k farhan is getting violent...if this were to happen again..jg teperajat k if u see me with rihannas hair sttyle...noo..i am not gonna change to be a butch..i want to be the bitch...hahaha...i am really gonna change this time if kelvin buat sial ngan aku...let me tel u something..never ever ever been a size 12 in my whole life...cey2 nak jadi rihanna konon...cant wait to club this wed...i fcuk care oney...grind jer la beb...i have done worse that is y i am not letting him go...i call it karma...accept jer la...take it as my fault...aku tak layan die betol...sal aku tak laawa...aku bukan perempuan die nak..aku paham la eh...thanks mas for being there for me...yeah i wont jump to conclusion...k la eh...i will blog more later...tomorrow meeting him..baek u.hahaha...

2009-12-11T17:18:00.000-08:00

Fuglishah....

weloo weloo....woke up early today....did a littile of cleanning..wanted to wash the toilet..but soo lazy..mayb when i come back home later...having a date with im later...going bugis....he wants to shopping..aku pokai liao...i hope the date goes well...well abg reno i wish a good life ahead right...no hard feelings..well good thing..i got my own la eh...kalu tak..who say we can live without boys...hahaha...now listening to club song..i cant wait for 16th...wuhuhuuhuhuhu....gonna partey with mas...its our first...da eh...aku tau kental..aper nak buat first timer maaa....ahahaha...u wanna neo something..i am sure kelvin is still sleeping...aku sengaje tak kol die...die yg ajak...knaper aku pulak yang nak semangat...padahal semangat ni..hehehe....well ni kate aku suke cari pasal...let him make mistakes...so he can learn from it...i am soo fucking tired...its always like thiss...biar kan...biar kan....hahahahaha...kalau bole aku nak kelua jer skrg...bored tau..i am no in the fucking mood to kemas my pig sty...how i wish i can get the guy that i wanted...i mean the personalities...if kelvin have it...my life is in peace...now its like an earthquake...its really hard for me now...k da...tu jer laaaa......

2009-12-10T04:56:00.000-08:00

Fat!

mummy ku yang canggih dan tersayang

Hana montel...

half of the class

i am fierce and fabulous..haaha

i should quit being this...its like really scaring me..k da...moment skejap bebual ngan diri sendiri...hahaha...k tadi kan ader class cohesion...i like to give thanks to ppl who didnt come...not informing mrunali that u r coming or not..but still u got to pay...i am dissapoited la...its like just one day tau...haiyoo...watch movie...slack2..din sang songs and play guitar...cair aku tau...first time ever a guys sing infront of me...like kite 2 jer...bullu roma tenaek u...tkder pape special eh...thanks to the ppl who didnt came that the food didnt finish...haiya...mummy fetch me...went home early then sleep..bored siak..bestie wasnt feeling well..soo no plan lor...sleep...i miss him..its hard to tell la...k la eh..esok last day of school...sedih u know...boredoom at home...k da...aku tak tau la aper aku merepek...hahahaha

Nobody said it was easy....

2009-12-09T04:41:00.000-08:00

Stupid in love...really stupid in love...u can call me idiot...i just cant make up my mind...hahaha...tu la farhan eh...can i know ur name?hehe...ur name is enough...i know it wont happen...cuz i know there is a lot of more preetier girls out there...soo i wont stand a chance...it will be a miracle if u talk to me...whenever i see u..my heart really just beats faster...i swear...it never happen since i met nik...i just admire this guy....admire jer eh...tak sala kan...hehehe....i still dont know his name...aaarrrgghh...k da eh farhan...ader jer tunang atau mataer org aku suke...hmm..susa eh...nvm...holidays are coming...dun want olidae..i want money...i want spent time with my frens...nvm..gonna fill it...k aku da panat...hehe..chowz...wait...warning eh...kepada org tu jgn mcm paham....

2009-12-07T03:08:00.000-08:00

Just reach home from meeting my babyboy...eat sleep...tu la keje aku...hahaha...had a lil chat with his siblings...i realise something...i am getting fucking ugly and old...eye bags..waliau...rabak...later want to siap2 sent my cutey little niecey back to tampines...then head to lepaking session with my mum..yes lepak...kat pasir ris pond ngan my daddy and mummy angkatz...u know whta i wanna do...sleep beside my darling...aku tido da tak senonoh siol...air liur meleleh kat badan die...hahaha...but he dun mind...hehe...sedap la sey....feels like u dun wanna wake up when u sleep with ur love ones kan...tu la rase nyer...ppl...always think twice or thrice befor u wanna do anything k....u might regret...yeah...k k..mcm la nak tido...oh fuck...bukan lepak siak nanti...blaja siol...blaja agama...hahaha...reno da ouut kan...whose next?hahaha.....

2009-12-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

I DONT MIND...

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND...

NEXT TIME JUST DONT DO THAT AGAIN...

IT HURTS...;)

2009-12-06T07:05:00.000-08:00

Ok i had enough eh...hhahaha...omg...can u jantans out there bukak mate korg besar2 kan..see how special is your girlfriend..mcm nak tempeleng kepale otak korg uh....i have 3 guys come to me and ask me for accompany and entertainment...

1.u got fucking preety and nice girlfren.

2.y in the hell would you do that

3.dont tell me they dont entertain u at all...

4.aku da ader mataer...

i am no sex goddes or hostess to entertain u fuckers...i swear aku menyesal uh kenal ngan korg in the first place...i just wanna find someone better....check2 kene sala org...i slowly get infos from ppl that they know your gerlfrens...and WTF SIAK!!!! mataer korg lawa..baek...pls uh...sedar la diri tu sikit...so what if they have been fucked by other guys....so what if u dont contact eachother always...hang in there...endure...if u love the girl..kalau kau nak menyundal diri kau ngan perempuan laen...jgn ader mataer uh...karma is enough.i have stop...and loving him as much as i can...i hope he is not like that....if he wants to,tell me...i dun mind...just get the hell out of my life jer la...girls..dun do that...really...karma will really get u back in the ass..no idea kan...haha...nvm...aku geram sangat2...meradang jer..aku nak rokok...esok skola...esok nak jumpe balak aku...haha...missing someone right now....

One word...FATS...

he is the one who always make me gugu gaga...
look like siblings kan...hahaha....amek kau...

Tu la darling aku satu satu nyer...how bad i hurt him or he hurt me...i would still go to him...he was always there for me..but sometimes pain in the ass...i always kutok him how bad he is to me...but i never thnk about what good he does for me...biase la...manusia..ingat jahat org jer...hahaha...went to compassvale sec padang...watch him play soccer...kak shanti(his sister whom i kinda dont like last time but now love her) was there too...tthen go to his aunt's place...lepaking and makan...slept a lil..tthen go home...good that we never fought cause you know y...sal aku tak cari pasal...haha..kalau tak..habes...ader jer...i want to go st. patrick's soon...can tak darling...i wanna go with him...club to kecoh kalau dengan mataer...kan kan kan???aku kan jakun ni sume...sorry eh kalau korg ni meyampah...holiday's next week...and i swear for now...i dont like holidays..i dun wanna grow fat and rot at home....tuesday presentation...fuck la...tak habes2 siak..k best...i wanna wash face and brush my preetyful teeth and go sleep...selamat malam...

2009-12-04T03:54:00.000-08:00

YUHUUUU!!!!!!!!!!...apa khabar semua....haha...went to school today...nothing to do at all...hand in my port folio...slack at school...i dun know y i suddenly love to come to school...it would be better if there is transport...soon eh...hehehe....ling!!!!!!!!!!amek i....hahahaha....or me driving mummy car...hehe....wait a lil longer eh farhan...hahaha...k k..watch two movies today...1 was ice age...2 was new moon...ice age fuckng cute sial!!!!new moon buat suspend siak....babibun betol...more movie pleash!!!waitinh for my 2nd parents to pick me up and haave dinner at terminal 3..then jalan2 for awhile....aku da siap...cik zai belum balek dari keje....baek uh...hahaha...k la..update moore soon yeah....baby i am a rockstar....

2009-12-03T05:04:00.000-08:00

I love my ppl...k aku tau random...a lot have been happening thiss week...kecoh aku bilang kau...the unexpected happen...nvm...aku malas nak type panjang2..more to school stuffs la eh..i know u not interested...k la eh...denga lagu tu..that song really reminds me of him...i remeber the first time i wanna meet him..i listen to that song thougt i have found someone i really thougt i am lucky to meet...every meeting...without fail that song plays in my mind...raffles place...kallang...whenerver i pass that place...him...omg.. now the more i cant forget him...really..y must this happen...whenever i see my lecturer...i see him..i swear.the kening...tak bole angz...i will really smile to myself whenever i see nik face when i see him...suddenly the feeling change when i rememebered what had happen..Something else happen too..its about another personal trainer...its not of a big thing...but he backed out...i truly understand...but i pity my mum...my mum like him soo much...thought that it would really happen in the future...but all gone down the drain...its not that i treat kelvin as nothing...he is still the love of life....but i am just looking for a better future...thinking that should i spent the rest of life alone as i know that i cant be with kelvin...marry him...we wont know..but i am doing all this for my mum...to make her happy...i dun mind not being happy in the future as in,in love cause i know i am gonna hav a full time job making money and enjoyig my life out there...the older ur parents are the more fragile they are...its feels soo good to fall in love and be in love...but it feels fucking shit pain to fall out of love...soo not soo soon i wann feel like that...i know its gonna happen butnot so soon...i just hope that they are gonna realise that...onee day...karma is gona happen..cause it really happens to me...so enough is enough..i should be appreciative for who and what i have...kicking my bad habits away...its really isnt easy...bad girl to good girl...cey2..mcm la paham...slalu...i have been a very bad person all these years and i know it..even for my close ones...people who i pour my hearts too...i am still trying my best to change...i may say it a lot of time...tembak tak kene...but i hope lame2 kene...hehe...i wanna thank mumy and daddy for taking care of me and also pampering me...getting what i want...i mean not all laa...aper yang dorg le afford...they buy for me...These few days i realise something...life is not easy...due to a lot of problems...if now i feel like as if its the end of the world...what a bout for our mums going through heartbreaks about our wrongdoings,people going through divorce,someone who lost their love ones...and much2 more la eh..

projects over...game over..tinggal drawing ni..aku nak kene draw...portfolio dulu hilang..mcm la siak...see...life is not easy..aku mase le blog...bagus farhan...amalkan slalu eh..mcm la biase...i need to do something but i keep saying later2...sampai aku tak buat tros...my darling sleeping like a pig oink oink....he got guard tomorrow...be back on saturday....fetching him...tthen head tto work...waiting for calls from starbucks..pls2...akuu nak keje...utang banyak oh...hahaha....cant wait for 16th siak....wuhuuuhuhuhu!....k la..i better start drawing...agak2 dalam 10 drawings ader...hatam jer la....haha...k k...selmataz...

2009-11-28T03:45:00.000-08:00

Aku baru balek fullerton one...applied for starbucks...hope i get it...eventhough the staffs there tak kecoh and not friendly from what i see...but i dun mind cause i jus wanna work get money baybeh!...Azryl(my sis in law lil bro) recommended me...i hope by recommendation bole la aku dapat keje ni eh...i heard free entry to butter factory which is a club..i was like "huh?sini ader butter factory?takkan factory in this kind of place..." check2 club la sial...hahaha...free beb...pls...aku nak keje la dey...the view kan...power...banyak la org...my sis in law accompanied me...sajer jer...sengaje nak ajak die jalan2...but one thing for sure she cant forget and always worried for my niece...nayli qaireen zara...me and my sis in law had a one to one talk...u know...normal conversation...boys money and kutok2 org...ahahahaha...biase la farhan jugak kan...haha...went to do some shopping for the makcik kpo...she bought for me a shoe that i can wear to school comfortably...i want to get the setewpid phone by tomorro...i dun care...hahaha...sorang pun sorg la....eh...aku belum blaja siak...gile babi per lu farhan...i swear my bilik da mcm store siak...end of this year i wanna clear all the stuff...suffocating siol dalam bilik ni...it isnt easy for me to be with kelvin peacefully...its always something that will happen or mulot org nak hancur kan hidop aku...nvm...one day i will have things my way....kan kan kan?...cant wait to work tomorrow...chill2...cant wait to meet beshtie and hakim...hahaha...rindu la pulak...my happy pills....haha...

k mcm adek lil jon tak?...haha...iiiyeahhhh!!!!

2009-11-26T16:51:00.000-08:00

Still thinking of why did this happen...i cant keep it off my mind...trying to...ending up...thinking of more memories of him...its soo hurtful...i still have his conversation on msn...i am listening to his songs that he sent to me...his picture that i just got is always pictured in my mind...cause he is the best thing ever happen to me..just thought i am the lucky one.....but ending up he is a liar...everything was just for a while...like mashitah said...y all good things must end....that is called life lor...cant wait for sunday...working...and my exams is next monday...mampos...aku belum blaja pon...gotta to revise soon...40% oi!!!!...i just cant wait to move on in life wthout boys...but not yet la eh...they keep giving me troubles...heart pain...k la...wanna help mum to masak for later...briyani baybeh!....selamat hari raya....!!

2009-11-24T05:31:00.000-08:00

Now reading the convo i had with him on msn..and i cant believe this really happen to me....god only knows what he told me and how he make me feel...k da la...now happy with k....not really....still not changing...tkkper...i just hope to have things my way one day...insyallah...have been meeting with beshtie often...somehow i feel more relaxed and happy with her around..its like entah eh...just need more firends like her...went shopping just now...tak juh...kat hougang mall jer...i realise kan...my face is getting uglier and older...is it due to smoking...i really should stop...esok start diet...hahaha...again...it wont be any difference...losing jsut the stomach..hahaha...daddy asked me...farhan,y u keep watching the biggest loser...i said motivation la bak...he replied...tak payah makan...baek uh...bapak aku ckp gitu eeh...hahaha....well...i am gonna follow my old diet.10 kg to lose....insyallah...ehehe..k la...aku nak tido...

2009-11-22T07:06:00.000-08:00

haha....i am laughing for how ppl can be soo busok hati....naive...its like sungguh tak perlu eh...ni sume terpulang pade diri sendiri...betol tak...hmmm...i got a life...and hell yeah i know how to lead it..no need to make me to realise how stupid i am...sebelum nak sedar kan org...sedar kan diri sendiri...sial uh..korg ingat korg mane nyer besa siak nak ckp ngan org tu mcm...u r no obama to tell me to know what i am suppose to do...ader eh org mcm ni dalam dunia...ppl have feelings...so do i....u have or not..or are you stoic....sume ader arah jalan sendiri eh...duduk satu corner diam2...aper jantan le buat kite pon bole buat..betol tak...aper kau le buat...aku pon le buat...jgn kate sembarang...aku sumpah hidup kau tak tenang....